Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Pardon Me


On a recent trip to Costco while I was walking down an isle a gentleman was coming toward me who had only one thing in his cart. It was a two pack of Grey Poupon Dijon Mustard. I truly thought that the Lord had given me a sign. I mean come on how many times does and opportunity like this present itself?

I broke out my best snooty French accent, lifted my nose ever so slightly, walked up to him and asked. "Pardon me, but might you have any Grey Poupon?" Then I waited... nothing. No chuckle, no smile, not even a faint hint of a grin. All I got was a blank stare with an expression of, "what the hell are you talking about." He just simply didn't get it.

There I stood, completely deflated. What, I ask you, are the chances that I would get the only guy on the planet that had never heard that line before? I can only imagine that he went home and told his wife, "you should have seen the nut job I saw in Costco today." (ok I know that's probably true for so many other reasons but not for this.)

On another occasion as I was walking through the produce section of the local supermarket, a bag of carrots fell from its display and landed on the floor with a splat. The clerk who was working nearby looked over and said, "that was weird." I replied with, "Yeah it was, so if a bag of carrots falls in the produce section while know one is around, does it make any noise?" Once again I was greeted with that familiar blank stare. Ugh

Maybe my delivery is poor or maybe it's just that so many people are walking around with their funny bone missing. Either way it makes me think of the of the saying, "lighten up people, none of us makes it out of this world alive anyway."
Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

18 comments:

katherine. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
katherine. said...

but...of course.

handing you a lovely jar of your very own ...

katherine. said...

wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving...don't make your brother laugh...

Travis said...

Well, I laughed and I wasn't even there.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

Amazing Gracie said...

I don't think it was your delivery. I think you had the misfortune to run into some stupid people!
I've had that happen before, too...you feel the sticky egg white running down your face.
I've enjoyed your comments on my blog!
Wishing you and your family an especially blessed Thanksgiving...
~~~Blessings~~~

Matt-Man said...

I dont which was funnier. You saying those things or the vapid looks. Happy Thanksgiving Jeff, and Cheers!!

~Deb said...

Jeff, the other day, I was walking through the supermarket, and this very large woman comes out of the aisle and starts yelling, "MOVE! MOVE IT! YOU'RE DRIVING ME F***ING CRAZY----JUST MOVE IT!!!"

She wasn't talking to anyone. The people around me were all looking at one another like, "OH....MUYYYY....GAWD!" I pretended I didn't see anything and me and this other shopper were laughing hysterically in the produce section.

It was a classic. People need a sense of humor---especially in supermarkets....so boring and stressful at the same time.

ANYWAY, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!

Jules~ said...

I would have definately laughed. I love it. You are able to do what I only think about and don't have the courage to do. I wonder what kind of reaction one would get with the classic "Where's The Beef" comment?

Oswegan said...

Don't you hate that.

~Oswegan

Jeff B said...

Katherine- That's the the response I was waiting for. I wish it would have been you with the mustard in the cart... and thank you.

Travis- Thanks. Hope your journey over the hill and through the woods was an enjoyable one.

Gracie- I sometimes wonder if I should just stick to easier questions like "Hello, how are you?" Not much fun in that though.

Matt- Their looks were pretty amusing. BTW Don't know that I've ever heard the word vapid used before. Had to look it up..I like it.

Deb- That's a good one. Wish I could have been there as well.

Jules- I just gotta be me. I'll look for an oppertunity for the WTB line and report back.

Oswegan- Yeah it's a bummer. I wonder if they go though life being that stale all the time.

Mimi Lenox said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

Mel said...

*chuckling*


I might enjoy grocery shopping if someone like you were crossing carts with me.


Enjoy the holiday weekend, sir!

Odat said...

Hey, I would have thought it was hysterical! I've said things like that and have gotten the same response...and I agree...either people are just so stupid or they have lost their "funny bone"...
Hope your Turkey Day was a good one!
Peace

Jeff B said...

Mimi- Thanks. Hoping you're having a nice weekend as well.

Mel- Enjoyable I don't know, but entertaining definitely!

Odat- Eventually someone's going to get it, I hope... and Turkey Day was great.

Anndi said...

Don't you love going up to srangers and saying stuff like that? Every once and a while they smile or chuckle.. mostly I've built up an immunity to pepper spray.

Hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving Jeff... is Grey Poupon good with turkey left-overs?

Christine from Cali said...

I think you're a better person than I am. I try to avoid people at Costco all together. It's way to busy and crowded for me to even make eye contact with the general public.

You are quite brave for attempting conversation with anybody at that store. And yes, this man has the personality of a storm drain. Keep at it, somebody will catch on to your jokes eventually!

Anna said...

I think I will be the second person in the world at Costco, lol. Not very good at those expressions, however, slowly picking up. Anna :)

Latharia said...

I would've fallen on the floor laughing if someone approached me like that.