Thursday, February 14, 2008

Down by the Stream

In an attempt to get the creative juices flowing again I will carry any of you willing to go along with me through a stream of my consciousness.

Some of my worst memories of milk were from kinder garden. Stale graham crackers with one of those micro sized containers of room temperature moo juice that always tasted more like the carton than the contents. Gack! I like milk when it's really, really cold. I want it to be so cold that I have "Popsicle head" after chugging a big glass of it.

If Heath Leger was only mildly popular before, why is he the greatest thing since sliced bread now that he is dead? and before bread was sliced what was the greatest thing?

Mohammad Ali claimed that "I am the greatest" when in fact everybody knows that Colonel Sanders really was. Try going fifteen rounds over a hot pressure cooker with eleven herbs and spices and see how tough you are Mr Cassius Clay.

Two wrongs don't make a right and two rights don't make a wrong, they actually make something that resembles a u-turn and speaking of turns, if you're ever in San Francisco, don't even think about trying to make a left turn.

I can't remember the last time I had home made tamales.

Vanentines Day is here. Does anything say I love you like a tire rotation for her car?

I used to play with friends, now I just play with myself. I've found I'm much better at it. Yes, there's nothing better than a good game of solitare. . . What'd ya think I meant?

Why do we have ketchup and catsup? Is this like Beta and VHS? Does anyone really pronuonce it, "cat-sup"? Personally, I don't want anything on my hamburger that sounds like a feline just yacked up a fur ball.

Football season is officially over and baseball is just around the corner. My oldest brother broke almost every record for pitching at the high school he attended. I wonder, now that it's some thirty years later, how many of those records are still in his name?

On our first date, my wife and I watched the movie "Big". I got a copy of it on DVD for a present today. Everybody say ahhhhaaa.

I'm taking a long weekend, and no, I don't work for the government.

TTFN (ta ta for now)


Dana said...

My kindergarten milk was the powdered variety mixed with room temperature water - YUM-O!

buffalodickdy said...

I seldom drink milk because I grew up with people pouring it into glasses 45 minutes before it was comsumed. It was nasty! I grew up in a world where the cheese was too cold, and the milk was too warm...

Roger said...

Milk yuck, I use to milk cows God awful smell of the milking parlor would follow you home.

Anndi said...

Amen to ice cold milk!

cold milk an sliced bread... yum!

and yeah... awwwwwwwwwwwwwww!


Enjoy the long weekend!

Matt-Man said...

Cold Milk Mooooves me. Great Stream Jeff. Enjoy the long weekend. Cheers!!

Leighann said...

I worked in a restaurant off and on for 12 years, yes, people say cat-sup.

Jeff B said...

Dana- ok you win the prize for worst milk. ick

Buffalo- Good point. Cheese should be allowed to temp up a bit to release the flavor, unless of course its American cheese, in which case it should be used as a garbage can liner.

Roger- I knew you liked to play with the udder.

Anndi- I slept in until 7:30 this morning. I couldn't beleive it when I looked at the clock.

Matt- Good response coming from the giver of the COW. Day one of the long weekend, time for some west and wewaxation.

Leighann- Maybe ketchup is a west coast thing? I don't remember hearing it pronounced the other way before.

My first job was in a restaurant. I stayed in that business for fifteen years. I feel your pain.

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

First, you can have chocolates instead.

You just play with yourself. Yes, my mind slipped right into the gutter with that one.

Loved the roatating tire piece. I'm glad you cleaned that up with the purchase of the movie Big. That is a nice touch and I'm going to say, ahhhhaaa.

Have a great day and long weekend. :)

Anndi said...

So what woke you up?

You know what sucks? When my stupid internal alarm wakes me up at 6am on a day off... that and having the dog bark 'Hey you, let the dogs out!' Woof woof woof woof woof when I'm having a really yummy dream...

Jeff B said...

Sandee- A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Anndi- Actually, no one woke me up this morning and my own internal alarm clock took the day off!

I don't remember the last time I slept this late. Generally, by six a.m. I'm on the go.

Hammer said...

Yeah that milk was really nasty abck then, that's why I got chocolate..and waht was up with those giant pencils?

the teach said...

I read it all Jeff, and found it all very interesting! Two wrongs don't make a right but two negatives make a positive. "I can't get no satisfaction" means "I get satisfaction." Ha! Have a good weekend!

Anndi said...

Your alarm was nice to you... awwwww!

Jules~ said...

Never been to San Fransisco. We were an hour away last summer but I figured we would need the whole week to explore and do it justice.

Big was such a cute movie. Did you have to supress the urge to find a giant keyboard and jump on it?

Our first date movie was Tequilla Sunrise. Yep, it is in our movies we own list.

Odat said...

Chocolate mile! We had that and was actually cold! From what I can remember from way back then....

Desert Songbird said...

Caught in your stream means...ah hell, I dunno what it means. I'm still hospital hungover.

I DO know that nothing says Happy Valentine's Day like coming home from the hospital and finding that the maids have TOTALLY cleaned my house. My hubby ROCKS!

Jeff B said...

Hammer- I don't remember chocolate being an option, but it would have been nice. Those pencils were like lead filled tree branches wern't they?

Teach- Wisdom from "The Stones".

Jules- If you get a chance to go to SF try October. The wheather is ususally really nice then. It's a really fun city to play tourist in.

Odat- I want to know shat schools you all went to that you got chocolate milk. I feel ripped off!

Songbird- I don't know what it means either.

Your hubby is a thoughtful and wise man. That or he's trying to cover his bases from all the wild parties he had while you were gone.

Seriously though, glad you're back home and doing well.

Ron said...

Damn, this is funny Jeff!

The "Valentine's Day" and "Solitare" were a HOOT!!!!

Hey...I happen to REALLY like the film "Big". I've seen it like, 7 million times already. It's a great film with an awesome story. I had a copy and loaned it to someone who NEVER FREAKING GAVE IT BACK!!!

Another great post, Jeff....thanks. Enjoy your weekend!

Bond said...

That stream is flowing like the Colorado after a spring snow melt....

Which is how cold milk needs to be also

Kerri said...

Oh have brought back a not so nice memory....luke warm milk in kindergarten....YUCK YUCK YUCK! I'm with has to be COLD!!!

Hope you have a FUN LONG WEEKEND!!

Mel said...

Well, THAT was quite a ride.....

Thinkin' that anytime your brain wants to have another wander about--I'm good with that!

Jeff B said...

Ron- The weekend is going great. I was outside in the yard all day today.

Bond- Agreed. The colder the better.

Kerri- Sorry to bring that one back up.

Mel- It's always wandering about, the hard part is stoping it long enough to write some of it down.

Travis said...

I quit drinking milk as soon as I was old enough to make my own decisions. There's just something about the taste that I find revolting.

And dude, it's not the season of right turns. The season of perpetual left turns starts at Daytona Beach on Sunday.

Sherry said...

I can't stand milk... Any type of it. But I do take calcuim because I'm sooooo smart! :)

Real Live Lesbian said...

I had homemade red and green tamales for Christmas from a friend. He uses raisins in his red, beef ones and they rock my world!

Enjoy the long weekend!

Diesel said...

I think it used to be pronounced "catsup", but it morphed over time. Now we're just waiting for the spelling to ketchup.