Sunday, April 20, 2008

Ham Anyone?

The following tale was told to me quite some time ago. Thought you might like it too.


A guy is driving down a country road one day when a pig bolts in front of his car and stops right smack in front him. The guy slams on his breaks and comes skidding to a halt just inches away from the pig. As his does this, a large tree falls across the road about fifty feet in front of his car.

As he takes in what's just happened, he realizes had the pig not have run in front of his car, he would have surely been crushed by the falling tree. After a few moments of sitting and collecting his composure, his sees the pig trot off towards a nearby farmhouse, but what really catches his eye is that the pig is missing its left hind leg.

The guy is amazed. Not only did this pig save his life, but it did it by running on only three legs. Still in awe, he sees a man outside of a barn near where the pig is heading. Feeling compelled to share the heroic tale of this life saving pig, the guys pulls his car off to the shoulder of the road and follows his guardian angel to where the man is.

When he gets to within ear shot of the farmer, he hollers out, "Excuse me sir, is that your pig over there?"

"Yep, sure is." the guy replies.

"That's one amazing pig you've got there mister. He just saved my life!"

"He did it again huh?"

Puzzled the guy says, "You mean he's done that before?"

"Yep, happens all the time with that pig."

Now the guy is really intrigued. "What do you mean?" he asks.

The farmer proceeds to tell the stranger, "Well ya see, bout three years ago we had us a twister come thru these parts in the middle of the night. That pig there busted out of its pen and come running over to the house a squealin' and a stompin' its hooves on the front door till it woke me and the misses up. We done got everybody including that pig down into the cellar before that big ole' twister come barrelin right over the top of us. We done lost the house and everything, but that little pig saved us all. That's when we knew there's somethin' special bout that critter."

"Holy cow! That's incredible!" the guy exclaimed. "You said he dose this all the time. You mean there were other times too?"

Again the farmer tells him, "Yep, like I said, he does it all the time. One other time he woke us all up when the back of the house was on fire. Me, the misses and the kids got out in time,but as we was standing on the front lawn we realized our four year old daughter wadn't out there with us. Bout that time that pig come runnin' out of the house with her. He'd grabbed her by the scruff of he PJ's and drug her out just in the nick of time."

The guy was totally floored at this point. He had never heard of such an amazing animal in all of his life. For a farm animal to have saved some one's life once was something in itself, but to do it at least three different times was nothing short of miraculous.

"Sir," he said, "that's the most incredible animal I've ever seen in my life. I am curious though, how come he only has three legs?"

Without missing a beat the farmer replies, "Boy, you don't think we'd eat a pig like that all at once do ya?"



Hope you're having a great weekend!

34 comments:

Gene Bach said...

Funny...even for you.

Did you hear the one about the cow standing on a rock in the middle of the field? ;-)

buffalodickdy said...

Not too bad!

Akelamalu said...

I've heard that before but it still makes me laugh! :)

Mimi Lenox said...

Oh brother....lol

jennifer said...

Right up there with

"What do you call a dog with no legs?"

"It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway."


Hope you have a great week!

Jennifer

Jay said...

Mmmmm ... bacon. ;-)

Rhea said...

Nooooo!!!! They can't eat the pig!!!!

Roger said...

Jeeeeeeeeeeeez!

Travis said...

Bwahahahahahahahahaaa

Jeff B said...

Gene- Fell down and run a stick up his nose!

Buffalo- An oldie but a goodie.

Aklamalu- I had to go deep into the vault for that one.

Mimi- I know, I know.

Jennifer- Nice one!

Jay- Ya can't go wrong with pork products.

Rhea- Well not all at once anyway.

Roger- Groans gladly accepted.

Travis- Got to love those farmer jokes.

Sexy Vixen said...

hee hee yes very good

Mel said...

Oy sheeeeeeeeeshhhhhhh

Nicole P said...

I think you would get along with my husband just fine. He tells joke like this.
And I roll my eyes.
Funny Jeff!!

CrystalChick said...

Starting to tell jokes now are ya???? LOL This could get interesting.....

Sandi McBride said...

We call that the Dark Humour of the Douglas Clan...in other words, warped...but funny
Sandi

Ron said...

Holy Hell, Jeff...you KILL me!!!!!

That was GREAT!!!

Thanks, Bud!

P.S. This little piggy went to market!

Jeff B said...

Vixen- Glad to provide a chuckle.

Mel- I couldn't resist.

Nicole- Ha, that's funny, I get the eyes rolling from Lisa too.

Crystalchick- Just trying to keep it entertaining around here. I'll try to refrain from singing, but I'm not making any promises.

Sandi- Warped is one of my specialties.

Ron- And this little piggy went wee wee wee, all the way home. Good to see you my friend.

Matt-Man said...

Bada Bing. Cheers Jeff!!

Dianne said...

Yep 'warped but funny' as sandi commented.

My brother loves jokes/stories like this, I'm going to e-mail him this one and he will of course proclaim it as his own and pass it on to all his clients.

You will soon be anonmously famous in Brooklyn. And if you know anything about Brooklyn that's the best way to be famous there.

Leighann said...

oh man!

R.E.H. said...

I loved that story! That was great!

Thanks for sharing!

VBF! said...

Oh no!!!!

I was laughing at how gorgeous the story was but then I was saddened by the thought of him getting slowly eaten! :-(

Poor piggy! xx

Jeff B said...

Matt- Good old corn fed humor.

Dianne- I'll be looking forward to hearing it if I ever make it back east.

Leighann- Sorry, it's a groaner for sure.

REH- Laughs, groans, chuckles...they're all good.

VBF- Don't be sad, think happy piggy thoughts! hehehe

Jeni said...

Nothing like a little gentle humor to start the week off right! Good one, Jeff.

Bond said...

bwahahahahahahahaha


ba dum

Jules~ said...

that completely reminds me of a song I have called Kiss a Pig. Same kind of story line but told with a Ray Stevens type of flare.

nitebyrd said...

ROTFLMAO!!!

Odat said...

That was so bad it was funny!!!
LOL!
Peace

leelee said...

lolololololol

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Bwahahahahahaha. Poor pig. Have a great day. :)

Kimmie said...

Oh darn it Jeff, you got me good! I loved the story up until the ending!!!! Now I will not be able to look at bacon in the same way ever again. ;-)
Smiles,
Kimmie

katherine. said...

this pig needs to hire himself a spider

Jeff B said...

Jeni- We've got to have something to smile about on a Monday. Thanks

Bond- I have no idea why that one popped into my head, but I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Jules- I don't recall hearing that one before.

Nitebyrd- Everyone needs a good rolling laugh on Monday.

Odat- Yeah I know, it's pretty corny.

Leelee- Glad you liked it.

Sandee- Poor pig? How about the poor farmer? Lost his house in a twister then to a fire. hehehehe

Kimmie- The next time you're in the supermarket and start chuckling, no one else will know why, but we will.

Katherine- "SOME PIG"

Jules~ said...

I sent you the song as an attachment to your email that you have listed in your profile. Enjoy!