Saturday, September 13, 2008

Wordzzle Time

It's Saturday, and what do we do on Saturday boys and girls? We Wordzzle! After missing last week I'm back at it again with a couple of short offerings. To find out who else is writing and/or to get all the details, go see Raven.

Our list of words to be used in a paragraph or short story for this week:

The ten word group (which was really only nine until Raven noticed it was missing one and threw in cactus at the last minute): spam, problematic, flower girl, splurge, milk, orphanage, lyrics, politics, ice cream cone, cactus

The mini group: drag race, poppy seed, swinging from a star, John Denver, diagram

~~~

The Ten Word - Get Some Rest

"No more splurging on deep fried Spam sandwiches and ice cream cones for late night meals." Brian thought to himself. "My insomnia is already problematic and that food combination just turns my few moments of sleep into nothing more than a bizarre dream fest." First it was a flower girl swimming through a pool of milk in the middle of the local orphanage, then it was the lyrics of that David Bowie song playing over and over in his head. "Turn and face the strange, cha-cha-changes..." He knew the second dream was was brought on by the continual political adds that were running on the television while he slept, but the first one still baffled him. "Man, could I use a good night's sleep. Maybe a nice warm cup of cactus tea will help."

~~~

The Mini - Party Time

There once was a man named John, Denver born originally, who now lived in Hollywood, CA. Since moving out west, he'd learned about swinging from a star named Poppy Seed Sprinkle. One of his favorite ways of showing up at these parties with Sprinkles was in drag, racing from one couple to the next in his heels and feather boa. After leaving one encounter he looked down at the floor and exclaimed, "Hey, I think your diagram fell out!"

"Oh bloody hell," Sprinkles chimed in, "he's drunk again. He meant to say, diaphragm!"

26 comments:

katherine. said...

**choking on my coffee**

(you need a diagram to use a diaphragm)

you seem to know a great deal about drag?

Akelamalu said...

You did it again, split a phrase, with such aplomb! And the malapropism was superb!

Dianne said...

you DO seem comfy and familar with drag!! Please tell us more.

I too love how you split the phrases.

I also enjoyed the nightmare brought about by political ads lol

the milky flower girl? Sarah perhaps? Just sayin'

Jeff B said...

Katherine- You ought to see my hairy legs and chest in a bustier, what a sight to behold!

Akelamalu- I seem to look at those phrases as a challenge within themselves. My own little warped since of fun I suppose.

Dianne- Oooooh, I feel a post coming on now.

You may be a dream weaver. If your interpretation holds true, I think I'm becoming lactose intolerant.

Raven said...

I loved the dreams in the first one. So very cleverly disposing of so many words. Mighty well done. I have to say your splitting of words always gives me a mixed reaction. The rigid purist in me says it's cheating, but it's also way, way clever and clever wins. Diagram/diaphram: Brilliant!

I can't believe it's almost time for your challenge and I haven't even started. Agggggghhhhh!

Jeff B said...

Raven- I'm glad you're understanding in your rules. I look at splitting the phrases as a way of thinking outside the box. Sort of a "How can these be used that will be different from all the other possibilities."

Believe it or not, I'm still trying to complete my POW story. It took me forever to find a story line that felt right. Now I'm paying the price for indecision and must hurry to complete it on time.

Vodka Mom said...

I'm here to see the hairy chest. I'm waiting.....

Dr.John said...

I enjoyed both stories and your use of the words outside the box is exceptional.

Jay said...

Dude, the mini was hilarious!

And I think fried spam and ice cream late night would probably give me bad dreams too.

Carletta said...

Cactus tea - hmmm... :)

I LOVED the mini and yes, agreed splitting the phrase was wonderfully done!

Thanks for stopping by mine earlier.

Jeff B said...

Vodka Mom- Are you sure your retina are strong enough to handle that visual?

Dr. John- Thanks, It's a fun way to look at them sometimes.

Jay- Fried Spam just about any time is cause for concern.

Carletta- I already had it written when I discovered Raven had added cactus to the mix. It just sort of fit in at the end that way.

Real Live Lesbian said...

That was perfection!~ I adored the last one!!!! I'm certain all your knowledge came from cable! lol

Richard said...

You nailed that second story today Jeff, I loved it.

Rich

CrazyCath said...

Very clever use of John Denver. And cactus tea?

Diagram or diaphragm too - thinking outside the box and in the next room I think.

Anndi said...

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

um... should Lisa be afraid you'll get into her shoes?

Jeff B said...

Real Live Lesbian- No lingerie was harmed in the making of this post.

Richard- Had a good dose of the sillies before I started that one.

Crazycath- Ya, the box pretty much went to the wayside on this go round.

Anndi- It's actually her pants I'm more interested in! *wink*

Lu' said...

I think the flower girl swimming in milk paints a nice visual. Ha! I liked your mini.

Mel said...

*choking on coffee*

OMGosh......

I was sooooo not prepared for that!!

Travis said...

Bwahahahahahahahaaa! Those were silly and bizarre!

Ron said...

HOLY SHIT, JEFF!!

The "mini" caught me so off guard...that I just HACKED on my sip of water!!!

That was freaking FABULOUS!!!

God, you're so damn funny, man!

And the dream about the girl swimming through a pool of milk in the middle of the local orphanage...was a beyond brilliant!

BRAVO on BOTH these, buddy!

P.S. and listen, I still have my Wicked Stepmother dress if you want to do some DRAG.

Just let me know, ok?

MommyWizdom said...

Bloody hell, that was hilarious!! Nice job! Ha ha haa!

Jeff B said...

Lu- Maybe she was doing the breast stroke.

Mel- Sorry, I'll put a "choking hazard" warning on the next one.

Travis- This is what a good nights sleep will produce.

Ron- Poor Lisa, she had to listen to me laugh and snort as I penned that one. Yep, I even amuse myself sometimes.

OK, deal, but I'm not shaving off my mustache for the roll!

Mommywizdom- Glad you enjoyed the show.

SnoopMurph said...

WOW-awesome wordzzle. Excellent second story.

Chatty said...

Mini absolutely CRACKED ME UP. too clever for words, you are! I think I'm making a copy of this one for my records...

Jeff B said...

Snoopmurph- Thanks, and welcome to the blog.

Chatty- glad you enjoyed it. Feel free to share it if you like.

Kimmie said...

I'm with Trav..."silly and bazaar", but oh so funny! :-)

Nice Job Jeff!