Saturday, March 28, 2009

Hollywood Does It Again

I'm not sure if I should call this a movie review or a public service announcement. Either way, here goes:

The weather outside today was dreadful at best. It was mostly crappy with periods of icky followed by down right nasty. Figuring getting out into the yard would have to wait for another day and feeling like I needed an escape from reality for a couple of hours I headed to the theater.

My brother Gene recently poo pooed "Knowing" recently so I decided it was out. It has Nicolas Cage in it, need I say more? Well, after a brief peruse of the shows playing I decided on "12 Rounds". The synopsis from Fandango was as follows:

When New Orleans cop Danny Fisher (John Cena) prevents a brilliant thief from successfully carrying out his latest heist, the thief's girlfriend is accidentally killed. Hungry for revenge, the criminal mastermind breaks out of prison and kidnaps Danny's fiancee. To save her, Danny must successfully navigate his way through an elaborate series of tasks and puzzles, or else watch the love of his life die.

I'm generally not big on the shoot 'em up over the top action flicks, but for some reason, this sounded like it might just fit the bill for today. Wrong-O!

This ended up being one hour and forty-eight minutes of nothing more than one ridiculously impossible action sequence after another. Explosions, Fire trucks smashing into cars, Helicopter blowing up in mid air, so on and so forth.

If there was a plot to it, they did one heck of a job concealing it.

All the way through it I kept wondering who the leading actor was. I knew I'd seen his face before, but could not for the life of me place where from. When the credits rolled, (yeah I actually stayed that long) I saw the name John Cena. He's a "Big time" wresting guy I recognized from the TV commercials. Funny thing is, he wasn't all that horrible as an actor. Given the right roll, he might actually be decent. Unfortunately, this was not such a roll.

I would have to give this movie two thumbs and all of my fingers way way down.

31 comments:

Finding Pam said...

I like John Cenna. I saw him in another movie where he was a macho guy, someone gets his wife and he kills them all in the end. Sounds like a theme? Radical car scenes and explosions. What can I say, I like a handsome face. LOL!Reminds me alot of Rambo.

Cherie said...

Sorry that you had to sit through that, and I'm a gal that likes a good action flick. Thanks for the warning!

Jeff B said...

Pam- I didn't know he'd done any other acting. (outside of the wresting bit that is)

Cherie- Lisa likes the action movies as well as the blood, guts and gore flicks. Even she would raise her eyebrows at this film.

the watercats said...

I'll remember that for when the film comes over here!..cheers!

BJ Roan said...

Sounds like a skipper!

BJ Roan said...

I should have added, well written review!

Akelamalu said...

Thanks for the review Jeff, I'll make a note not to bother seeing the film. :)

buffalodick said...

This is a huge industry- We must demand better written scripts!

Finding Pam said...

He just needs better scripts. He plays a sweet,kind,and an honorable man. Corny I know, but I like him. Corny like "A Walk In the Clouds" with Keanau.

Jeff B said...

Watercat- If I can save others a few bucks and a wasted hour and a half, then I've done my job.

BJ- I wouldn't even recommend this for video. It was that bad.

Akelamalu- It's one to avoid.

Buffalo- It'd be nice if there was some sort of money back guarantee. Poor quality = refund.

Pam- Hopefully he'll some chances at some better rolls in the future. What's the name of the other movie you saw him in?

Hammer said...

Thanks for the warning. I'll be sure to keep it off my netflix list.

Travis said...

I've gotten to the point that I don't go to the movie theater anymore unless I know it's something I can count on. Our next trip will be for Harry Potter.

I may miss a few good ones, but it sure does save me from clunkers.

Nessa said...

So you're saying you didn't care for it, huh?

; D

Jeff B said...

Hammer- It wouldn't be worth the stamp to mail it back.

Travis- I may have to think about adopting that theory. I hate throwing away good money for a cheesy film.

Nessa- You picked up on that eh? Bwahahahaha

Dr.John said...

I deduce you didn't like the movie.

Kelly H-Y said...

Don't you hate it when precious, rare going-to-the-movies time is wasted on something that just doesn't cut it?! Sorry it didn't measure up ... but, thanks for warning the rest of us!

katherine. said...

good to know. Saved us $20 plus popcorn and diet dr pepper!

Mel said...

Himself thanks you.

Has to be him--I rarely bother with the television and I don't know how to run the DVD thingie!

Bond said...

I rarely go to a movie theater...rather wait, rent the DVD and watch it at home without the drama of people talking etc etc...

San said...

Thanks for the warning, Jeff. I'll skip this one.

Not that long ago I went to see 'The Wrestler'. I liked it, but don't see it on a day you're feeling blue. It's not exactly upbeat.

Ron said...

Oh dear god...

...I can only imagine the HORROR on my face, had I gone to that movie with you.

I think I'd give this film my middle finger up!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

david mcmahon said...

It was partly shot here in Melbourne, but hasn't been welcomed by the critics here either.

Jeff B said...

Dr John- You deduced correctly.

Kelly- You're so right. It's rare that going to the movies isn't a Disney production with the kids in tow. To waste the opportunity on this flick was a real disappointment.

Katherine- Consider it my own contribution to your stimulus package.

Mel- Glad to have helped. He won't miss a thing by passing on this one.

Bond- When this one comes out save your self and pass on it.

San- That's kind of why I picked this one. I was in a blue funk and wanted an escape. It unfortunately didn't help.

Ron- I wish you would have been there. You'd probably have drug me out like I should have done anyway.

David- Good to know the critics there have taste too.

Steffani said...

The other John Cena movie is called "The Marine".

Anndi said...

Your sacrifice is duly noted.

CrystalChick said...

Will keep in in mind for our next trip to the movies. Hubs wanted to see the Knowing but it got such bad reviews we saw 'Duplicity' instead. That was pretty decent.

nitebyrd said...

Thank you for your sacrifice. Where were you when I wasted part of my life watching, "The Ice Storm?"

The Teamster said...

thanks for the warning...I probably see my fair share of bad movies myself...

jennifer said...

Not an issue here - I don't ever watch shoot 'em ups. Now if you watch any stinky cartoons, be sure to tell me :)

Jeff B said...

Steffani- that was just on cable and we didn't watch it. Maybe next time.

Anndi- I'm a giver that way.

CrystalChick- Now that's one good report in favor of Duplicity to go along with one other unfavorable one I've got. Might wait for the DVD on that one.

Nitebyrd- Was that one of those cheese-ball disaster flicks like Dante's Peak or Towering Inferno, etc.?

Teamster- It seems more likely to find a bad one than a good one these days. You'd think someone could write a decent script.

Jennifer- I'll be sure to inform you when I run across one.

Starrlight said...

I can recommend Fast and Furious. Kidlet and I saw that last weekend and it was fun. We both LOVE car movies. Well all "guy" movies.