Monday, June 15, 2009

Behind the Wheel

Haven't done one of these types of posts for a while.



Things you don't want to hear at a driving test:


1. OK, next I'd like you to parallel park, Up ahead, there, between that Lexus and the Mercedes.

2. Congratulations Mr Johnson, your teenage son/daughter just passed their test.

3. no, No, NO!!!

4. I've never actually had a driver get a car up on two wheels before.

5. Have you ever considered the benefits of public transportation?

6. Are you by any chance part of the Andretti family?

7. No, that wasn't a speed bump.

8. Are you sure you shouldn't be wearing glasses.

9. Not even that amount of cash is going to help your score.

10. Wow, most people stop the car outside the building.

11. Thirty-two years in the DMV and that's the first time I've ever seen that move.

12. Didn't your brother try this earlier this year? Oh yeah, he didn't pass either.



Feel free to add any others that come to mind in the comments section.

29 comments:

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahaha. Oh these are very good.

Have a terrific day. :)

BJ Roan said...

Humorous, yet scary. Too much reality here. Your time will come. Sooner than you think. ;)

Travis said...

No, your other left YOUR OTHER LEFT!!!

quilly said...

Eons ago on my driving test, the officer asked me to back up for an entire block. I did. Then he ahd me pull forward and do it again. And again. The third time I asked, "Is something wrong?" And he said, "No. How the hell do you keep the car so straight?" And I said, "I lined it up with the curb!" He looked quite surprised and I wondered who was testing whom!

Jeff B said...

Sandee- Thanks I made myself tee hee a couple of times.

BJ- Just when I was having some fun you had to go and slap me up side my head with reality.

Travis- Nice one!

Quilly- Ha! That's a new twist on the driving test.

Jay said...

That first one is the best!

I actually quite liked it when my kids learned to drive - it meant I didn't have to taxi them everywhere!

Nessa said...

Very funny. I think there are many people on the road who were able to bribe someone for their licenses.

Mel said...

LOLOL

nitebyrd said...

I think the tester asked my son #6! LOL

Sandi McBride said...

Wonderful Jeff! I love a good laugh at parents expense...lol...
Sandi

Jay said...

No I don't normally wear a crash helmet and wrap myself in bubble wrap. Why do you ask?

buffalodick said...

I did a post on my boys early driving once, and I know what you are going through...
Get them a bumper sticker that says; "My brake lights don't work"- keeps the tailgaters off them...

Jeff B said...

Jay- After the initial horror and terror, it does have its advantages.

Nessa- Our phrase is always, "Did you get your license out of a Cracker Jack box?"

Mel- Glad to tickle your funny bone.

Nitebyrd- This is my wife to a tee!

Sandi- Laugh all you want, but you're goning have to share the road with them too ya know. :)

Jay- I like it!

Buffalo- I'll have to remember that trick.

jennifer said...

#7.... I snorted on #7.

I can add what my husband says to me when I drive "You are actually supposed to AVOID the pot holes."

Akelamalu said...

#8 made me 'spurt' my coffee! LOL

Kelly H-Y said...

Hilarious! Believe it or not, my high-school driver's ed teacher's name was Rex Easley ... I am NOT kidding!

Jeff B said...

Jennifer- Just tell him those pot holes are let in place so blind people can drive too. Kind of like braille.

Akelamalu- Always glad when I can entertain.

Kelly- OMG! I'm sure there were jokes-a-plenty with that name.

Ron said...

Ok, I have a confession to make...

..I actually FAILED my drivers test the first time I took it.

Aren't I pitiful?

I SLIGHTLY went over the white line while I was drive through the road test...shit!#*?

Anyway... I LOVED #7!!!

anthonynorth said...

Funny, and just what you could do without.

katherine. said...

those really are funny....

have you and Lisa discussed who is going to teach the boys to drive?... cause those two are ready now.

My three all learned to drive very young in mexico on the beach in an old VW van. But I confess I let someone else teach them.

Bond said...

That is a TRUCK...TRUCK....hail mary...

Dianne said...

I love #7 !!!

CrystalChick said...

LOL On my driver's test I actually did hit the cone while parallel parking. Oops. The instructor was pretty cool though and said if I straightened things out I'd be okay. So I finished whatever maneuver I was trying to do and he did pass me.

Bond said...

Hope you had a grand Father's Day

Desert Songbird said...

I imagine I might hear some of these things in a few years...when my daughter starts driving. Oy vey...

Jeff B said...

Not snubbing you that came by inb the past few days, just taking some non-blogging time.

Hope said...

Nice drift, but that wasn't on the test. I'll let you go so you can finish up with highway patrol.

Jules~ said...

Those are cute. Pippin just earned her license a few weeks ago so these really made me laugh. Now it is time to start working on Puddin'. She will be 16 in October and is studying to get her permit. she will be my last one to train. Sigh....

San said...

Jeff, when I took my road test as a teenager, I was really dreading the parallel parking. When I did it, I was thinking, 'Wow, that's the best I've ever done.' And then the law enforcement official sitting in the passenger seat said, "I think you can do better than that." "Of course," I said. I parked again. Although I don't really believe I did a better job the second time, the man did pass me. WHEW.