Saturday, August 23, 2008

You're getting Worrrrdzle...very, very Worrrrdzle

Yep, it's Saturday. Yep, it's time for another Wordzzle. For all the details of how it works and to see who else is writing, please visit Raven. The short version is this. Take these lists of random words and create a story from them. Always fun and always challenging.

This week we have:

Ten Word Challenge: tiramisu, transfixed, evacuation, Queen of the Nile, pillowcase, grammatical, voice inflection, pacified, micro climate, swami

And for the Mini Challenge: maggots, thermal pocket, industrial, bovine, feminized

My ten word is a bit lengthy this week, so I opted to not do a mega. I think it probably qualifies for one anyway.


The Mini

The "Thermal Pocket" was a seedy little pool hall situated in one of the worst parts of this industrialized town, and the maggots that frequented it tended to be more bovine in nature than human. Still, that wasn't going to stop the "Queens Delight" motorcycle gang from bringing they're own brand of feminized brotherhood to it and making it their new hang out.


The Ten Word

The banner above the doorway of the large tent read, "Come inside and be tranzfixed by the hypnotic powers of the great Swami Rashneesh Syram and his lovely assistant Lady Abigail, Queen of the Nile."

After ten minutes or so of pleading from her children and a, "Ya never know honey, it could be entertaining!" from her husband, Darleen decided to give up and step inside. Whispering to her husband, she said, "I wouldn't expect much from this. Did you see that ridiculous grammatical error on their sign? I mean, who spells transfixed with a "z" anyway?"

Darleen had always been skeptical of hypnotists, and now their little word gaffe only seemed to put an exclamation point to her argument. "You know that these traveling fair and circus type of shows are all just smoke and mirrors don't you?" she continued.

Her husband looked at her and replied, "Tell you what dear, I've got a little proposition for you. When they ask for a volunteer from the audience, raise your hand. If you're selected, you can then prove once and for all whether they're for real or not."

"You're on!" she exclaimed, "but you know darn good and well that they're not going to pick me. Everyone knows they have people planted in the crowd to act out the part they want portrayed." Still, she figured, this would pacify her husband, at least for now anyway.

About ten minutes into the show the inevitable "May I have three volunteers from the audience please" came. Nearly twenty hands simultaneously went up, one of which belonged to Darleen. To her complete and utter amazement, she was one of the ones chosen! With a look of "You've got to be kidding me!" she made her way through the crowd and up onto the stage, taking a seat on one of the stools provided.

After all the participants had been seated and introduced, Lady Abigail reached into what appeared to be nothing more than a cheaply decorated pillowcase. What she pulled out of it however, was far more impressive. Dangling from a brilliant silver chain was the most exquisite deep blue gemstone any of the people in the room had ever seen. Slowly, she began swinging the precisely cut sapphire in front of the three nervous volunteers. In a deep and melodic voice, the swami gently instructed each of them to gaze deeply into the object before them. His tone seemed to sooth their ears and with every word they found themselves becoming increasingly relaxed. His voice inflection changed slightly as he eased out of the familiar English and began speaking in his native southern Indian dialect. Although this audible change was obvious to those seated in the audience, it only seemed to draw the three on stage to a more hypnotic state.

"I'll be damned!" Darleen's husband found himself mumbling, "Look at your mother. She's actually falling into a trance!"

A moment later all three of them were completely under. The swami approached the woman seated to the left and instructed her that she was a chicken trapped in a cage. When he said the word, "EVACUATION" she would immediately begin to flap her wings and try to escape. Moving to the center, he explained to the gentleman seated in front of him, that he was a lizard stuck out in the cold snow. When he said the words, "MICRO CLIMATE" he was to start looking for a nice sunny place to warm himself. Stepping to the right, the swami was now standing in front of Darleen. Sitting on the edge of their seats, her husband and kids couldn't wait to see what he had in store for her. He announced that she was to take on the persona of the famous chef Julia Child. When she heard him say, "TIRAMISU" she would begin preparing a chicken and lizard stew.

One by one the swami called out the various key words and the antics on the stage ensued. The "chicken" began clucking, flapping her wings and scratching for worms. The "lizard" dropped to the ground and began crawling on his belly towards the glow of the spotlight shinning down, all the while licking at the air and bobbing his head in typical reptilian fashion. Darleen, aka "Julia", instantly started speaking in the unmistakable voice of her new character. Then, looking to either side, she realized that her two main ingredients were crawling and flapping around the stage with her. Now the chase was on!

Near pandemonium broke out, both on and off stage, with the audience practically falling out of their chairs in uncontrollable spasms of laughter. With tears streaming down his cheeks, Darleen's husband was undoubtedly the most audible in the room.

Just before things got completely out of hand, the swami clapped his hands twice and exclaimed, "Shala!" the chicken, the lizard and the blood thirsty chef froze in their tracks. One at a time, he brought them back out of the trance they were in, and one by one they awoke to applause, coupled with a few remaining giggles and snorts.


And now for the "Shameless Plug" portion of the post.

Don't forget to cast your vote for the name of the new writing challenge coming up this Monday. (Details on the previous post.) Please scroll down for the particulars and use the "ballot" on the side bar at the top of the page for voting.


Akelamalu said...

I loved them both Jeff but the 10 word was just so funny I could see them so clearly - well done, you are a master of the wordzzle!

Raven said...

Another wonderfully terse mini... But I love your mega-esk (mega lite?). Great job!

Carletta said...

I could just hear Stacy Keach saying the words of your mini an intro to that old detective show he was in. I loved it.
You very beautifully put your 'mega' story together but it ended too soon. I want to know what Darleeen says....huh, huh...what did she say! :)

Jeff B said...

Akelamalu- After last week, I thought a few laughs were in order.

Raven- "Mega-Lite...Same great Wordzzle taste with half the calories"

Carletta- And here I was afraid i was running too long with it.

Richard said...

An Ode to Julia Child. Only one word could describe this story: Delicious!


Matt-Man said...

"The Thermal Pocket"...That sounds pornographic. I like it. Cheers Jeff!!

Dianne said...

Those "Queens" will clean up that pool hall ;)

the 10 word was fantastic!! I was laughing along with the audience. how brilliant to have Julia Child chasing the others.

Travis said...

The mini was hilarious!

Jeff B said...

Rich- Thanks, I "cooked Up" this story last night.

Matt- I think it's right down the street from the Sweaty Balls Inn.

Dianne- I honestly didn't know where that story was going to end up when I started writing it. For some reason Julia came to mind when I read tiramisu, and it just stuck.

Travis- Thanks, I had a few chuckles writing that one too.

Giggle! said...

Another fantastic result!!!

Don't you ever stuff up?!!!

You were made for this stuff! xx

Ron said...

Bravo Swami Jeff!

Magical use of your words.

Like Akelamalu...I could actually SEE and HEAR all this going on!!!

My favorite part was when the Swami exclaimed....SHALA!!!!!

(I didn't know you spoke Indian!?!?)

As usual...great job, bud!

Melli said...

Ohhhhhh WOW! Your 10 word challenge was fabulous! I am sooooo far outta my league with this game! OY!