Wednesday, December 17, 2008

A Bunch of Useless Information

I first saw this at Songbird's place and then over at Jay's. Thought I'd give it a go as well.

Sorry I can't give credit to the originator of it, because I'm not sure who that is. I'm also not tagging anyone, but if you'd like to bare your soul to a million or so of your closest friends, then by all means go for it.

It's called the Layer Meme, I have no idea why.


Layer One:
- Name: Jeff B
- Birth date: Yep, I have one of those, and it usually happens around the middle of March
- Birthplace: Right out of my mother's hoo ha, where did you think?
- Current Location: Near Portland, Oregon, USA, North America, Earth, Milky Way Galaxy
- Eye color: Hazel green . . . both of them
- Hair Color: Dark brown, but the gray is trying to get a foothold
- Height: √25' , 5+17/2"
- Righty or Lefty: Mostly right, but I can do a fair amount of things with my left too
- Zodiac sign: Is that thing still around? OK, Pisces

Layer Two:
- Your Heritage: Heinz 57 variety - Hungarian, German, Dutch and Irish mostly
- The shoes you wore today: Snow boots
- Your weakness: Chocolate chip ice cream
- Your fears: Balloons - The damn things freak me out!
- Your perfect pizza: Pesto with Italian sausage and mushrooms
- Goal you’d like to achieve: Having a story published or world peace, whichever comes first

Layer Three:
- Your most overused phrase on AIM: OK, you lost me there. AI what??
- Your best physical feature: Why didn't you ask me this twenty years ago?
- Your most missed memory: Is this some sort of Alzheimer question?

Layer Four:
- Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi, because they make Dr Pepper
- McDonald's or Burger King: This is supposed to be a choice?
- Single or group dates: Sure
- Adidas or Nike: Being a good Portlander, I suppose I should say NIKE
- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton with a slice of lemon and some sugar please
- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate, the darker the better
- Cappuccino or coffee: I'm good with plain coffee

Layer Five:
- Smoke: Nope
- Cuss: Asshole! (oops, this was supposed to be a question not a request wasn't it?)
- Sing: Be happy to as long as it isn't "The sound of Music"
- Take a shower everyday: Are you kidding me? Have you checked the price of soap lately?
- Do you think you’ve been in love: Yes - twice
- Want to go to college: Only to watch a football game
- Liked high school: It bored the tears out of me
- Want to get married: Already am
- Believe in yourself: Absolutely
- Get motion sickness: Put me in a small boat in a rough ocean and I'll chum the water
- Think you’re attractive: Better off than The Elephant Man, but far from a model
- Think you’re a health freak: Remember the what's your weakness question
- Get along with your parents: A great big YES!
- Like thunderstorms: Compared to earthquakes I love them
- Play an instrument: Is the radio an instrument?

Layer Six: (In the past six months)
- Drank alcohol: Nope
- Smoked: We did have some pretty hot sex that one night, otherwise no
- Done drugs: Nope
- Made out: Made out of what?
- Gone on a date: Yes - That's right, married people do that too, just with the same person each time
- Gone to the mall: Yep, kicking and screaming
- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: A half dozen perhaps, but I doubt a whole box
- Eaten sushi: Yes, Yummm
- Been on stage: Wow, no
- Been dumped: No, but I've taken quite a few of them
- Gone skating: Only on thin ice with a few of my comments
- Made homemade cookies: No, but that's about to change in the next couple of days
- Gone skinny dipping: I'm sure you will all thank me when I say no
- Dyed your hair: No, but I think a few of my hairs have died
- Stolen anything: Just my wife's heart (are you throwing up yet?)

Layer Seven: Have you ever. . .
- Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yes, but it's been quite a while
- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Isn't that the same thing?
- Been caught “doing something”: Never been the catch-e, but have been the catch-er
- Been called a tease: Are you kidding me?
- Gotten beat up: Ah yes, the joys of being a minority in a southern California grade school
- Shoplifted: I respectfully request to take the fifth amendment at this time
- Changed who you were to fit in: I don't know about changed, but I have adapted to situations

Layer Eight:
- Age you hope to be married: Until the ripe old age of dead
- Names of children: Billy-Bob, Betty-Sue, Gertrude and Hildagard (Oh, you meant my kids . .)
- Describe your dream wedding: Small church, lots of good friends and a big party afterwords
- Where do you want to go to college: I think "Where do I want my kids to go to college?" would be a more appropriate question
- What do you want to be when you grow up: Independently wealthy!
- What country would you most like to visit: Japan

Layer Nine:
- Number of drugs taken illegally: Just one, but I never inhaled!
- Number of people I could trust with my life: I just counted a half dozen without even trying
- Number of CD’s that I own: One more than I did last week thanks to Bond
- Number of piercings: Zippo
- Number of tattoos: Nadda
- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: A couple
- Number of scars on my body: Three
- Number of things in my past I regret: Quite a few and none - all at the same time


Jeni said...

Reading your comment about being afraid of balloons made me feel pretty darned good -you know, as in the "Misery loves company" area cause I've always been afraid of those darned things. Loved your answers to this meme though.

Nessa said...

There were a few different questions in there and a couple, um, odd, answers.

Vodka Mom said...

you are "smoking" .. GREAT meme!!!

Desert Songbird said...

- Been dumped: No, but I've taken quite a few of them
- Gone skating: Only on thin ice with a few of my comments

Classic Jeff answers. Thanks for playing along, and thanks for the giggles!

Jeff B said...

Jeni- In my case it's hereditary. Mom hates 'em and so do I. Neither of my boys do though, co I guess it's skipping a generation this time around.

Nessa- The questions were all over the place on this one, and odd answers? I resemble that remark! Hope I haven't scared you off already.

Vodka- It's kind of a long one, but pretty entertaining to answer.

Songbird- Thanks for the tip, I had fun with it.

Odat said...

Hey...fellow Piscean!!! Yey!!!
"chum the water"??? Thanks for that...I'm so glad I didn't have breakfast yet..

Great answers, you nut job.....


buffalodick said...

Good answers! Some of the questions on these things just don't apply...

Jay said...

But what if someone makes a balloon into a cute wittle pup-EEE? Would you still be afraid of that balloon?

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Great job and I do believe this meme came from the queen herself. I'm referring to Mimi the queen of memes. The royalty with that ugly dungeon. Just saying.

I love your sense of humor. Have a terrific day. :)

Jeff B said...

Odat- just thinking of all the fish. I'm such a giver that way.

Buffalo- It was obviously written by someone much younger than I.

Jay- They could make it into the shape of a bowl of chocolate chikp ice cream and I'd still be freaked by it. My disdain for those evil little things knows no limits!

Jeff B said...

Sandee- Rut Roh, I could be in a heap of trouble and not even know it.

Starrlight said...

I gotta do this one :P

I hear you on the mall. Maybe we could meet up, drop our respective families off at the mall and then work on the intoxication thingie they are asking about!

Finding Pam said...

I loved that you "stole your wife's heart." That is so beautiful and I did not throw up!
And to be married until dead. haha!

Just hilarious answers. In fact priceless and so good that I dare not even try this meme.

Thanks for the fun answers.

San said...

You are hilarious, Jeff! Are you sure you don't have a tattoo or a piercing on your best physical feature?

I like your perfect pizza concept, except let's switch artichoke hearts for mushrooms. OK?

Anndi said...

Whenever you are frightened by balloons... just remember a few of your favourite thiiiiiiiiiiiings! (I was thinking of making a banana smoothie but ran out of em - go figure...)

Sandi McBride said...

Wonderful answers...and questions on a Jeff, are a nut! Thankfully I thoroughly enjoy nuts

BJ Roan said...

You had me laughing so hard I spilled my tea! and it was hot!

jennifer said...

WOW WOW WOW! This was an indepth Meme. I am going to copy and paste it it into blogger but I may never post it. But if I DO, you will get kudos for posting it first.

I don't cuss so I may not be able to fully complete it :) You nut!

Have a great weekend Jeff!

Jeff B said...

Starrlight- I'm all in for avoiding the mall. I'll volunteer to be the DD. Dr Pepper is about the strongest thing in my veins these days.

Pam- Had to have a couple of soft touch answers in there too.

San- Nope, I looked no tats or extra hole there! and BTW you do realize that an artichoke is a thistle right. . . ick!

Anndi- Thank you very little for the brief song, and I think I know where there are a few extra bananas.

Sandi- Me and Almond Joys, we have a lot in common.

BJ- Guess I should have put a warning label on it. By seeing your comment, I'm hoping this means you are out of the deep freeze.

Jennifer- You could always sub in something like Heck-a-Doodle on that one.

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Great answers Jeff - made me laugh.

BJ Roan said...

The ice is finally thawing, along with my internet connection. Woo Hoo! I'm free at last!

maryt/theteach said...

Jeff, thanks for the fun of reading ALL about you! Always love to learn more about my blogger friends... What, you've been a tease? :)

Jeff B said...

Anne- Glad you enjoyed them

BJ- That's good news

Mary- Good to hear from you again.

San said...

SO? What do you have against thistles? Maybe I should report you to the EOE (Equal Opportunity Eaters).

Dianne said...

balloons!! what did balloons ever do to you! that made me laugh so hard

many of your answers did and some were quite sweet

which basically describes you - a sweet guy who is very funny

Jeff B said...

San- hehehehe I'm generally not a picky eater, but I draw the line at artichokes. Blech!

Dianne- Awwww, thanks. And isn't that ridiculous? A big tough contractor like me turns into a little Nancy boy around balloons. ((shuddering))

Mel said...

Awwwwwww......I'm showing himself this one!

Not to bust ya out, of course, but for validation that married people DO date!
(working on getting me one of those......)

katherine. said...

I'm with donna...this is classic jeff...true love mixed with potty humor...

well done.

note to self....send balloon cluster to portland first half of march...