Monday, November 16, 2009

Two Very Different Phone Calls


What to talk about.

It's been ages since I've put anything together here, and I wonder who might make it by now. Thank you to those that have/will.

So the other day I called two friends down in California. We are going down there (Calif) this Christmas to spend time with Lisa's mom and brother and I wanted to find out who else might be around to visit during our stay. These two calls could not have been more different. The first was to Liz. She was on top of the world. In a new home, work going well, life seemed to be burning on all cylinders for her. She went on to tell me how she believed God had put her in her current home as a testimony to his grace and goodness. When she unfolded the story of how she came to get the house, I could easily see how Gods hand played a part of it. There were so many elements of the story to simply be chance I thought.

After talking for about a half an hour, catching up with each other, I said goodbye and called another good friend Randy. His wife Mo answered and when I asked how the old man (Randy) was doing, she said, "Well, he's got the big "C"." As I gulped, I timidly asked, "Do you mean cancer?" As much as I was hoping she was going to say no, she unfortunately said that was in fact what it was.


She took the phone out to him and we started catching up with each other. I found out he had just had his first chemotherapy treatment that day. My heart sank. This is a guy only a few years older than me. He should not have to be facing this at his age I thought. Then again, no one should have to face going through cancer. What an ugly disease.

We managed to laugh and enjoy some lighter moments, although we both knew there was this behemoth lurking in the corner. I wanted to find the right words to share with my long time friend, but as I verbalized to him, in that situation, there just don't seem to be any to find. We both understood and told each other we loved one another.

Even as I type these words, my eyes are heavy with tears welling up behind them.

In the past few days I've been going through what I would assume is the natural questioning. Why can some of us be so up while others are in such a bad way? Why does a God who claims to be so full of grace allow such things as cancer to exist?

Why? Why? Why?

Many more questions have come to mind while some answers have managed to surface.

My faith is still in tact, but I've been consumed with many questions that seem to lay dormant until something like this happens.

I know we all come from different beliefs so I will ask for prayers, positive thoughts, well wishes or whatever might be offered for my friend. They are all appreciated.

Be well all.


Dianne said...

I check in on you often kiddo, you're one of my favorite voices and a post like this is why

you've got a good heart

I will send out all good thoughts for your friend to be well

and I am thrilled for your friend whose life is happy right now

I have been asking a lot of questions myself these days

Starrlight said...

I went through this with my best friend about 8 years ago. She was in her early 40's at the time. It's hard to deal with the randomness of it.

Travis said...

You're in my reader, so I always know when you come around.

Sorry to hear about your friend.

Jeff B said...

Dianne- Thanks for the thoughts. Let me know if you have any luck with your set of questions.

Starr- The randomness of it sums it up perfectly. Anyone at anytime it seems.

Travis- I'm sorry too. Been missing your Sunday sports recaps BTW.

Anndi said...

I'm sending good thoughts and prayers and hugs for you because you feel so sad about your friend.

And I have chocolate chip banana muffins for you... fresh baked. ;)

Jeni said...

Jeff -I certainly can empathize with the emotions you're experiencing right now -especially with your friend and his diagnosis. At my age (65 now) I've seen that happen to folks my age and much younger too, each time wondering as you are as to the whys for things like that to happen.
And, I've had it happen to me too -receiving that diagnosis. Six and a half years ago now. So I want to tell you too that depending on the type and stage the cancer is in when diagnosed, a lot of good things can take place too. I had chemo and radiation, surgery, then more chemo after the surgery and this far down the road now, I'm still cancer free. Why me and not some others -who knows? Luck of the draw I suppose. That, and yes I do have a strong faith, prayers sure don't hurt anything either and I will add your friend to my prayer list as well. Peace.

quilly said...

I have said a prayer for Randy, and for those who love him.

Nessa said...

My thoughts and prayers are with Randy, his family and friends.

Tuesday's Tales in Two Hundred - Going In Circles

Dana said...

I've been fortunate to have many praying for me lately - I will pray for Randy and his family!

And like Travis, you're in my reader. I get excited when you show up there!

Sandee said...

Sorry to hear about your friend Randy. Life is so uncertain.

Have a great day. :)

Jay said...

Sorry to hear about your friend. I wish there were answers to your (and my) questions. Maybe someday we will get those answers.

BJ Roan said...

I will keep Randy in my prayers. I went through this with a friend a few years ago. It isn't easy. Hopefully Randy will be one of the lucky ones. BJ

Susan at Stony River said...

How wonderful that you called Randy on what must have been the day he most needed a friend to talk to.

My sister has bone cancer, and I understand about the behemoth. Every minute we spend together it's as though an invisible monster is sitting with us, staring us down. I hate hate hate it. But she's doing well so far. I hope Randy beats it but good.

This is the first I found you, thanks to Dr. John's Portrait of Words link, that still came to you instead after all this time. I'm glad he didn't fix it; I'm glad to find you!

Thom said...

My thoughts are with your friend Randy. It must be awful. I just had a friend who found out she had a lump in her breast and yes it was malignant. She had it removed and is doing very well now. Keep thinking positive my friend. I will keep good thoughts for your friend Randy as well :)

Akelamalu said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend Randy, I'll remember him when I'm sending Reiki.

How can some be so up when some are so down? That's life my dear, just life. x

Jeff B said...

Anndi- I laughed when I read your comment and email. Of all the days for a banana made product! Thanks for the much needed smile.

Jeni- It's great to know that six and a half years have passed since your diagnosis. Those are the stories I/we will cling to most.

Quilly- It's much appreciated.

Nessa- Thank you to you as well.

Dana- Love the reader feature. Even with long absences, we can catch up when someone returns. Good to hear from you.

Sandee- Life is uncertain indeed.

Jay- I really wish there were definitive answers to these tough questions.

BJ- I hope so too. He's a pretty ornery cuss, so perhaps he'll beat it after all.

Susan- Thank you for dropping in and sharing your input. Glad the link brought you here.

Thom- I'm trying to keep a positive outlook first for Randy and then for myself.

Akelamalu- "That's life, that's what the people say..." Fair or not, it is what it is.

Bond said...

Jeff...I hit your link everyday in case you post and today i was thrilled to see new words and to hear the wonder of your one friend...then came the news of your second friend and my heart aches for he and his family and friends.

May he find the strength to fight this battle and may his faith carry him far.

Mel said...

I got that teary eyed, lump going on just reading.

F%$# Cancer. *sigh*

I'm a bit passionate about cancer and coming through the other side of it.
But I know how it lurks and looms. And I know the damage it does.
Hang close to your friend...he needs people that are FOR him.

((((((((((( Jeff )))))))))))))

Of course prayers are being said.

Kelly H-Y said...

Wonderful post. Oh ... how I've had those questions repeatedly over the past couple of years. And, now ... with my mom battling metastatic breast cancer throughout her body (it was discovered at the end of Aug), those questions are alive and well more than ever. Faith is in tact and heavily depended upon. But ... so many questions as to 'why'.

Jeff B said...

Bond- Thanks for the perseverance. I'd rather have come back with an all positive post, but as you know, when we need support, we come to the aid of friends like you and the others. Thank you.

Mel- As I said to someone before, stories of people who have come through the battle are always good to hear. The prayers are appreciated.

Kelly- Sorry to hear about your mom. I didn't know she was going through that. The questions are plentiful for sure.

Desert Songbird said...

Gawd, how I LOATHE cancer. It took my mother away from me, and my kids never got the chance to meet or know their grandmother. It SUCKS.

Cancer knows no class boundaries, no age boundaries, no religious boundaries, no economic boundaries.

I think one of the most difficult things for people who know someone with cancer is the helpless feelings they have. They want to help, to change things, to make a difference, and most times, there is nothing anyone can do but hope and pray.

They are powerful things, but at times we don't feel like they are.

jennifer said...

Aw Jeff. I hate to hear this. I stand with you in Faith and will pray for Randy's healing.

My post tomorrow deals with "C" too. "Why? Why? Why?" is right.

nitebyrd said...

Glad you're back, Jeff. You were missed. Keep positive thoughts for Randy, only positive.