Sunday, October 16, 2011

You Are Here

 From this week's writing prompt at Sunday Scribblings



"You Are Here"

If you were to ask who had the coolest mom, we'd have told you hands down it was Gary Butler's mom, Mrs "B". Heck, she was probably the best in Alpine Springs, maybe even in the whole state.

On those long hot days of summer Mrs B would always have a big plate of bologna and cheese sandwiches for us to munch on and a pitcher of of ice cold lemon-aid to quench our thirsts.

Sunday's were one of my favorite days to happen by Gary's  place. Like most of us back then he had a house with one of those big covered porches in front and you could bet your bicycle Mrs B would be sitting on the bench swing reading from an old tattered black, leather bound Bible. You also knew on the table next to her would be a large ceramic platter with a couple dozen freshly baked cookies.

I never realized until that summer that there were so many different kinds of cookies. She made oatmeal-raisen ones and little ball shaped ones dusted with powdered sugar. There were round scalloped edged ones with jam filled centers. There were peanut butter cookies complete with criss crosses on top and then there were my favorites of course, chocolate chip with walnuts. Those in particular were best when they were still warm in the center from the oven and you could smell the melted chocolate hovering in the air.

The cookies sat there ready for the taking, but they did come with one small price. Before we could have one, (or two, or three) she'd read a verse from the good book and then ask each person if she could pray for them. Saying yes was never a prerequisite to getting your treat, but we always figured it wouldn't hurt either. Most of us thought it was a little goofy at the time, but now that I sit here all these years later preparing my sermon for the upcoming Sunday service I remember Mrs B's cookies and prayers and it puts a smile on my aging face.

The weekly trip to the cookie laden platter was great, but there was one other thing Mrs B did that clearly put her into the "Mom Hall of Fame".

It was the last week in August when summer vacation was coming to a close and the threat of another school year loomed on the horizon. I think Gary's mom knew we needed a boost and boy oh boy did she come through in a big way.

Making the rounds from one buddy's house to another, we eventually ended up at Gary's, and there it was. Hanging on the back fence was a hand drawn map. Not just any map mind you, but a fell fledged treasure map, complete with an "X" marking a yet undisclosed location. Scribed at the bottom in elegant handwriting were the words, "Young pirates... An adventure awaits you. Go forth, follow the clues and you will find the hidden gold!". It was signed, "Mrs Blackbeard".

I'm sure they heard us three counties away as we danced about cheering and shouting. With the speed of a gold medal relay team we tore around the side of the house to the front porch where a smiling Mrs B was waiting. Dressed in black pants, a white blouse and a scarlet sash tied around her mid section, she definitely looked the part of the piratess. She even had one of those traditional black flags with the skull and cross bones on it flying proudly where she normally kept one of her flower pattered ones.

"Where is it?"

Where's the gold Mrs B?", we cried loudly.

Through her ear to ear grin she handed us a rolled up scroll and said simply, "You found the map and now you have the clues to go along with it. Take them and find your gold."

Then she interjected, "Oh, and before you go, you may want these."

The "These" she was referring to was a bag full of bandannas, eye patches, feathers for our hair and even a couple of plastic swords. Yep, we were unmistakably a band of pirates now and were ready for our quest.

The next two or so hours would take us all over the neighborhood and even through the nearby park. From one discovery to the next, we trudged about, hooping and hollering all the way. With swords raised high we practiced our "Arrrgh's" and "Aye Matey's".

Up trees and over fences we went hoping each clue would be the one that ultimately led us to our treasure, and that's when we found it; the clue that said, "Congratulations young pirates, you've made it this far. Now go to Blackbeard's hideout and look for the X."

We knew exactly what it meant. Blackbeard's hideout was Mrs B's house.

"I knew it!" we all yelled. Like being shot from a cannon we took off for Gary's pla... that is, Blackbeard's place.

Once again we found Mrs B on the front porch.

"Where's the X?" we squealed.

Shrugging her shoulders and lifting her palms up she said, "Don't know. Maybe out back?"

That's all we needed. Around back we went like a flash. Pinned to the fence just where we started was a new note. This one said, "You are here". Below it was freshly tilled soil with a giant X placed on top of it fashioned out of golden fabric and leaning on the cedar fenced next to it was a shovel.

Gary got the honors and started digging. A few scoops in we all heard a "Clank!" Dropping the shovel Gary and the rest of us fell to our knees and started pawing at the dirt unearthing the small metal box that now doubled as a treasure chest. We lifted it out of the ground and popped open the lid. Our eyes opened wide and jaws fell agape as we looked inside. Dozens and dozens of gold coins lay glistening before us in the late summer sunlight. They were chocolate filled of course, but as far as we were concerned, they were pure gold.

~~~

Dedicated to my mom who was and still is a Mrs B mom.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Eight Fears

Day three of ten.



Today we look at eight things that give me angst.






1. I'm afraid of dying. This is not to be confused with death itself mind you. Being dead really doesn't bother me. I'm quite at peace with where I'll be after my time on this earth is done, it's the actual process of dying I'm not to keen on. There are too many ugly ways of meeting the end and none of them seem like ones I want to have to endure.

2. Potato bugs. YUCK!!! I can handle spiders, snakes and all other sorts of creepy crawlies, but these prehistoric looking one ounce pieces of nasty just plain freak me out!

3. Heights. I'm sure it's a type of vertigo. Actually being up high, such as on a tall building or a bridge for instance, doesn't bug me tremendously unless I'm at the edge and that's when I feel the imaginary pull. I know it's not real and I know it's not rational, but it still scares me just the same.

4. Not trying. This is a fear that seems to have a reverse effect and actually empowers me. I'm afraid I'll be an old man and realize I didn't take a chance when I should have. This fear has caused me to take calculated risks; most of which have proven to be good choices. Not all, but most.

5. Dancing. Maybe fear is a strong word for this one, but I realize I completely suck at it so my fear is that I'll look like an idiot out on the dance floor.

6. Not being a good enough father. I try to find a balance between providing for my boys, (i.e. working) and spending time with them. It's a constant challenge.

7. That I won't make it to number eight without running out of fears to talk about.

8. Scary movies. Don't like them; not one little bit. I remember as a kid going to watch some horror flick with my older brothers I'd make sure to have a really BIG soda. That way I could pretend to be taking a drink from it when a scary part was coming up, when in actuality I was merely hiding my eyes within the rim of the cup!

Friday, October 14, 2011

Nine Loves

The next installment of the 10 day challenge.

Nine of my Loves

1. My family. Ya ya, I know, maybe it's a cheesy answer, but seriously, I have a great family. My wife and I are coming up on 20 years of marriage. We were friends before we were lovers and we've managed to grow closer over the years. I/we have two boys and they're pretty darned good kids if I do say so myself.


2. Quite possibly the worlds most perfect food... Ice Cream. Most flavors are good, but for me, nothing beats Chocolate Chip!


3. The San Francisco 49ers. I was a fan back when Joe Montana, Jerry Rice, Ronnie Lott, Steve Young and the rest of the gang were racking up Super Bowl rings. I've continued to be a fan in recent years too, even though the wins haven't been as easy to come by.


4. I love a great comedy as well as a good tragedy.


5. Jesus Christ. He loved me first and I now I love him.


6. I'm typically on the go all the time. Camping is one of the few things that allows me to completely relax.


7. The ocean. All of my adult life I've lived within two hours of the Pacific Ocean. Maybe I'm part fish (I am a Pisces after all), but there is something that draws me to the sand and surf.


8. My yellow lab Bianca. She's been a faithful companion for about nine years now.


9. Honesty. It may not always be the easiest path to take, but I really value people who are honest with me, and perhaps more importantly, with themselves.



Thursday, October 13, 2011

Secrets

Saw this at a new blog I've discovered and thought about giving it a whirl as well.


Where I discovered it: "Carp Dime"

Where he got it: "Ha Ha, Wait. What?"

Before that? I have no idea and besides, I think that's quite enough link love for one sitting.


Day One - Ten Secrets

1. I put pizza boxes in the curbside recycle can even though it clearly states not to do that. Their clean, their cardboard... deal with it!

2. My real name is Jeff

3. I once went two days without changing my undies. My mother would be mortified to know this. Sssshh.

4. I can't tell you number four... it's a secrete.

5. I once took a twenty dollar bill OUT of the offering basket at church when it went by.

6. I have a crush on Cameron Diaz. OK, so she's probably the only one that doesn't know this little tidbit, but doesn't that make it a secrete as far as she's concerned?

7. Number five is a bold faced lie. Made ya wonder about me though didn't it?

8. Easily 99.9% of the Christmas presents my mother-in-law has given me over the years have ended up at either Goodwill or Salvation Army. Let's just say her taste in clothes is a bit different than mine.

9. I learned to write in cursive way back when, but I never write that way. I always print.

10. I've been known to bring my own candy bar into the theater. By doing this over the past 30+ years I've probably saved a few hundred dollars, or about three large tubs of popcorn.