Saturday, December 1, 2007

Digital Service

Things you don't want to hear from your Proctologist.

  1. Guess what? You're my very first patient.
  2. Now open wide and say, "aaah"
  3. Shoot na, I dun grad-e-nated from one a dem Vetnar..Veteranair...Dog & Cat Colleges.
  4. Oops, my bad.
  5. Sorry, I'm all out of lubricant.
  6. Nurse, if this is the oral thermometer then who got the ...ut o.
  7. That's not my finger.
  8. What beautiful brown eye you have.
  9. Have you seen my wedding ring?
  10. Ta Daaa.....
  11. Don't you just hate hangnails?
  12. Oh all of Them? They're here on my sons 4th grade class field trip.
  13. Whew, I feel like a cigarette.
  14. Mind if I snap a photo for my scrapbook?
  15. My daddy was a plumber too.
  16. Nurse, please schedule a follow-up exam for tomorrow.
  17. Wow it's dark in here.
  18. Hello..Hello...Hello
  19. Now how did that get in there?
  20. Crap!
  21. Nurse, hand me that scraper please.

Did you hear about the guy that was tailgating the Proctologist?



Matt-Man said...

How about, "You remind me of my sister." Cheers!!

Odat said...

Love No. 4......(as opposed to No.2) ahahahaha.


Mel said...


Trapped in the house in an ice storm with proctologist jokes up the whazoo....LOL
What a lovely way to spend a Saturday morning. LOL

Desert Songbird said...

Matty's killing me.

These are so bad, they're hilarious Still don't think guys have it as bad as chicks when it comes to pelvic exams, but you get close.

Anna said...

Oh this was funny that we came up with few ourselves, but I will not mention here, lol. Thanks for making us (me and my hobby) laugh very much, lol. Anna :)

Travis said...

Maybe we don't have it as bad as women as far as exams - after all, they also have to get the tatas crushed routinely.

But there's just something wrong about having your address looked up and then having your normal MD grab you by the nuts and tell you to cough.

It's just not right I say.

Latharia said...

ROFL!!!! Thanks for sharing!

Jeff B said...

Matt- That is sooo wrong!

Odat- Yeah, the tounge depressers there never quite taste right.

Mel- Love the 'whazoo' comment

Songbird- Our friend Matt is a warped puppy.

You ladies did drew the short straw when it comes to fun exams.

Anna- Go ahead share with the class.

Travis- My doc is a neighbor, he lives two houses away. Kind of hard to look at him the same after being so up close and personal.

Jeff B said...

Latharia- Missed you, thanks for dropping by.

Annie said...

Yikes! I just scheduled my first colonoscopy.

Psycho Mom said...

How 'bout "To boldly go where no man has gone before."

VERY FUNNY! I particularly liked #13.

Oh, poor Annie . . . been there, done that and I can tell you, you aren't going to be having fun that day.

"The Babe"

Roger said...

Hahahaha great list my fav; Whew, I feel like a cigarette...Have a great weekend Jeff!

Jeff B said...

Annie- Hope everything comes out OK. (sorry, couldn't resist)

Mom- and if you hear, "I'm givin' it all I've got captain, I can't give it no more." you know you're in seroius trouble.

Roger- Thanks man

Oswegan said...

That's funny. I liked number four.

Number seven reminds me of a joke:

A guy walks into the proctologist's office for the first time, and sits on the table to wait for the doctor.

In walks a man wearing a doctor's coat, who has no arms.

He says, "hello my name is Doctor Smith. I just need warn you that my anal examinations are a little unorthodox."


katherine. said...

laughing laughing laughing.... I so love things I can share with my fam and friends....