Saturday, June 7, 2008

Wordzzle - You be the "judge"

It's time again for my new favorite weekly word challenge. A quick run down for those that are unfamiliar with it. Raven from Views from the Ravens Nest gives us two sets of random words to work into a paragraph that she likes to call Wordzzles. She has an open invitation to any who would like to give it a go, so if you feel so inclined, jump in.

The words for this week's ten word challenge were: spaghetti, larkspur, Prilosec, roaring lion, adamant, green green grass of home, paradox, filibuster, face cream, trout fishing

And for the Mini Challenge: jury of ones peers, barking dog, a wing and a prayer, liver, sprained ankle

I especially enjoyed the second set of words because as many of you know, I was serving on jury duty this week. As it turned out I only had to go to the courthouse on Tuesday and as I was sitting there waiting to be called, I wrote the mini challenge as well as the mega challenge.

And away we go...

Ten Word Challenge***

After spending a long day at Larkspur Lake trout fishing, Joyce was adamant that she wanted to see the green green grass of home once again. She found herself in quite a paradox however, because she was the one who had suggested the family come out here in the first place. The moment she started packing up for home, her husband Ray put up a filibuster, pleading his case about how the monster trout he'd been pursuing all day was sure to bite at any minute. Joyce wasn't willing to budge however. Turns out that she had mistakenly put face cream on instead of sun block and was now feeling the onset of a very nasty sun burn. Compounding matters, her acid reflux was coming on like a roaring lion thanks to the spaghetti dinner from the night before, and to top it all off, her Prilosec was at home. If she didn't get something for her stomach soon, it was going to get ugly...and fast!


I couldn't believe it. I'd been called to be on a jury of ones peers for a civil case, that by all accounts, was completely ridiculous. A gentleman was suing his neighbor because the guys barking dog had startled him while he was preparing a dinner of liver and onions. Seems that he stumbled backwards from the sudden noise , lost his footing and ended up with a sprained ankle. He was now suing for medical bills incurred as well as emotional distress. Halfway through his argument it was painfully obvious that he didn't have a wing and a pray at winning the case.

Mega Challenge***

As jury selection began a variety of excuses were offered up in hopes for an early departure for some. One elderly man told the judge his liver was in distress and wasn't sure if he would be able to serve. Another hobbled up with a sprained ankle in a wrap asking to be dismissed. When the third petition was raised however, nearly everyone in the courthouse erupted into laughter. A sweet, but misguided lady said she had a barking dog that was sure to cause problems with her neighbor if she wasn't able to be at the green green grass of home to care for him. We all knew that she only had a wing and a prayer this no nonsense judge was going to release her, but at least she had tried.

As expected, the judge answered back like a roaring lion. He was adamant that even though the first two jurors could be excused, He wasn't in the mood for any other half baked excuses. He continued telling the courtroom that he'd much rather be trout fishing at the lake with his yellow Labrador retriever Filibuster, but if he had to be stuck here then the rest of them could manage too. Besides, the defendant was entitled to be tried by a jury of ones peers and at least twelve of them were going to be on that jury.

Then it happened. Juror #347 spoke up and said, "Here's the paradox your honor. As much as I'd really like to serve on this panel, I'm afraid I don't think I'll be able to do that."

Looking back at her it was quite clear, both by his temper and his obvious discomfort, that his Prilosec was wearing off. "And why is that my dear?" he asked.

"I work for the Larkspur Spaghetti Factory on the same production line as the claimant. I don't think I could be very impartial if I know her."

"Anybody else!" the judge demanded.

With a well warranted amount of hesitation another timidly raised his hand saying, "I own stock in the face cream company that the defendant manages."

"This just keeps getting better every minute!" sniped the judge, "Bailiff, escort the few potential jurors we have left out of the courtroom. We're in recess!"


Akelamalu said...

I love the way all your stories just flow! Filibuster is a great name for a dog. :)

Odat said... tell such great stories.

Sandi McBride said...

Good job again, Jeff...I'm starting to look forward to your Wordzzles each week...

Rhea said...

Great job, Jeff!! I LOVED the judge's dog named Filibuster. That was awesome. You did a great job with all those words.

Richard said...

Great story about seating a jury. You picked up on Wordzzle right away. Nice job.


Gene Bach said...

You do pretty good for a stupid guy.

Jeff B said...

Akelamalu- Sitting at the courthouse writting these seemed to help this time around.

Odat- It comes in handy at bedtime with the kids.

Sandi- Why thank you.

Rhea- Its cause she was a yellow lab huh? ~wink~

Rich- Thanks. Every once in a while I get lucky.

Gene- I liked you better when you were out on the fires and away from the computer!

Raven said...

These are great. I love the idea of a judge's dog named Filibuster. Too clever. Jury duty really is like that as I recall. Years ago when I was still in NYC, I used to get called every two years like clockwork. I especially loved the first one, though.

~Deb said...

I was on the internet eating spaghetti and looking up ‘larkspur’ on, when all of the sudden, my screen turned green! An ad for Prilosec popped up and I shut my computer down. I went to go put face cream on because it was dry after a day of trout fishing. I still had a few more words to look up online, such as filibuster, and adamant about getting my computer to work again. I stared outside my window and peered down at my green grass of home, when all of the sudden, my computer exploded, sounding much like a roaring lion! The paradox of this whole thing is that sitting at a computer all day can be completely and physically draining.

Where's my prize???? :)

Yours was better though!

~Deb said...

In the jury of one’s peers, I’ve set forth to beat the best wings contest at the local bar. As soon as my buddy ate a wing of mine that was loaded with hot sauce, I said a prayer and hoped that all the beer he had drank right before wouldn’t tear apart his liver. When he left, the owner had a barking dog outside which ultimately scared my friend and made him fall, leaving him with a sprained ankle. Never drink and walk.

Jeff B said...

Raven- It was a bit like that here too. As soon as the judge asked if anyone had a reason why they couldn't serve, about six or eight people spoke up.

Deb- Brava! On the spot wordzzling. Maybe you'll join us next week. You seem to have it down right out of the gate.

Dianne said...

LOL at gene's comment - dry humor and good friends eh?

and Deb - please join in - you're a natural!!

Love the stories Jeff. As a former NY participant/victim of jury duty I must say your accounts were very accurate.

Travis said...

Nice job once again!

Jay said...

Great job on all the Wordzzles dude! I would have never thought to name a dog Filibuster.

And look at Deb. Just Wordzzling right there on the spot. That's some serious talent!

Kimmie said...

Jeff, loved your Wordzzles today! Filibuster for a dogs name was the bomb! I loved it!

mjgolch said...

Hi Jeff,Gene was talking about in his blog and I decided to come over for a visit.
I hope that you are having a great day.That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Jeff B said...

Dianne- From the outside looking in at our comments, it may not seem like it, but It's our sarcastic way of saying we care.

Travis- Thanks

Jay- Yeah, Deb really took the Wordzzle by the horns.

Kimmie- Nice to see you've joined in again too.

MJGolch- Thanks for the visit. Do come back.

Ron said...

Ok...can someone just tell me...what the HELL is a Filibuster and a Prilosec????

Thank god I'm not partaking in this, because I would need an encyclopedia glued to my head! doesn't matter that I don't know what those words are, because your Worddzzl was freaking BRILLIANT, bud!

The Mega Challenge blew me away. now I'm going to go use my special FACE CREAM that helps fade the LIVER spots on my forehead!

tee, hee!

Mel said...


I have a tough enough time forming complete sentences! LOL

Well done, sir.....well done!

Jeff B said...

Ron- A filibuster is a long winded speeck given by a Senator to block the passage of a bill in the Senate.

Prilosec is a brand name drug to aid in acid reflux desease.

Next weeks words are really going to be a challenge.

Mel- I'll bet you'd do just fine with them.

Betty said...

I especially liked your mega this week. Good job!

the teach said...

Excellent, smooth Wordzzles, Jeff!

katherine. said...

all this talent...what did you do with it before your weblog???

Jeff B said...

Betty- Thanks. Next week looks like quite the challenge.

Teach- I think sitting in a courthouse while writting these helped.

Katherine- Who me?

Roger said...

Damm your good at this stuff Jeff!

nitebyrd said...

WOW! Great post, as usual!

Bond said...

very cool Jeff... excellent job

Ron said...

Thanks Jeff...I feel so much smarter now!?!?

Later, gator!

Anndi said...

You really are very good at this.

Well done!

Jeff B said...

Roger, Nitebyrd, Bond and Anndi- thank you all for those nice words

Ron- Anytime buddy