Thursday, September 18, 2008

Auto Pilot

Man I'm beat. Beat like a red headed stepchild! We're doing an epoxy floor coating in a restroom at Intel today and tomorrow. today involved removing the old sheet vinyl and mastic and then applying the epoxy primer and color flake to it. The first day (today) is always the hard part of the job. The second day is generally a breeze. Anyhoo, it's good money and they are really good about paying quickly, so hard work or not, I'm not complaining.

And now...a break from the post to express my sincere appreciation to everyone who took the POW writing challenge and put such amazing stories out there for my/our reading pleasure. I was hoping for a few people to join in on it, but was truly wowed that there were ten of you who made the time to write your words down. And what gifted writers you are too! THANK YOU!!!

Also a thank you to any and all who came by this site or any of the others and read these wonderful stories. You are every bit as important to the cause. Your comments and feedback are an inspiration for me (and I'm sure the others too) to want to keep it up.

I'll have Octobers pictures posted tomorrow, (Friday) and as I did before, the POW icon on my sidebar will link back to them to make it easier to find throughout the month.

OK, back to the it were.

Spending eight hours in a bathroom tends to make a person look at this room a bit differently than normal. At least is does with me. I noticed that nearly everything is automated these days. Motion sensors activate the various items and do for us what we used to have to do for ourselves. Long gone are the days of touching that nasty handle on the toilet. This I like. I mean who wants to touch one of those things when you know darn good and well the last person (and who knows how many others) have just released bodily fluids and before they've had a chance to wash their hands, they're grabbing a hold of the thing. YUCK!!!

Another thing I like is the automatic water at the faucet. The ones that used to be so popular I didn't. They were the ones that you would push down and it would give you about ten seconds of water before it shut off. They never seemed to be in sink with what I needed for water. They would inevitably shut off about three seconds before the last of the soap was washed off, thereby making you push it on again and watching it run considerably longer than it need to. It also seemed that about every tenth one would stick in the on position. Gallon after gallon of water wasting away down the drain as I would feel compelled to try and pull the damn thing back up to shut it off.

Next up, the soap dispenser. This item tends to irritate me more than it does help. Generally I stick my hand underneath it and nothing happens. So what do I do? Move my hand closer to where I think the motion sensor is. Nine times out of ten when I do this, I end up with soap at about my wrist. I guess it could be worse, but if their going to call it hand soap it should darn well land on my hand, otherwise change the name to wrist soap please!

Now it's time to dry my hands (or wrists, or elbows, or wherever the soap managed to land). It seems more and more places are giving us a choice these days. Blow dry or paper towels. Now I admittedly like a blow job as much as the next guy, but not under these circumstances. No, I'm more of a paper towel kind of guy in the bathroom. What I want to know though, is who gets to decide how much of the roll gets dispensed when I wave my hand in front of the electric eye? Did the powers at be for the Paper Towel Dispensers of America have a wash off and create some magic formula for this?

Well, I haven't seen it yet, but I wouldn't at all be surprised if there are automatic toilet paper giver outers too. If they haven't yet figured out the proper ratio on this one, then I want to be a part of the study group. Can you imagine the round table discussions for this? On a related issue, who the hell is the cheap SOB that keeps putting single ply butt wipes in the dispenser? Do you really think this is going to save your company big dollars? I've got news for you, It doesn't. We just use twice as much!!!

If you'll excuse me I have some business to take care of...


Vodka Mom said...

I wanted to do it. I really did. I just posted my column so now I have at least two weeks. Can I get the assignment early? I'm not usually a teacher's pet, but for you........

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

I'm just not the writer. I loved writing in college, but not so much now.

The other thing about restrooms that creep me out is the door handle. I'll use my paper towel to open the door then toss the paper towel. I've seem so many folks just waltz right out without washing their hands. Yuck.

Have a great day. :)

Jay said...

I used to work for a place that put in one of those paper towel dispensers that had an electric eye. They installed close enough to the door that the door itself set it off every time someone opened it.

Jules~ said...

Hey! I was the red headed step child! giggle giggle
Yuo are too funny with all of your bathroom appliance discussion. The single ply TP...yeah that drives me nuts!

Travis said...

Those faucets you had to press to get the three seconds of water...I never understood the sanitary point of those.

You've just soaped your hands. Now you want to rinse. So with your soapy hand, you press the button for the faucet. And now you have to wash your hands again!

I am seriously going to try and join the writing challenge this month.

buffalodick said...

Motion detectors aren't always working as well as I'd like... I look like a magician trying a sleigh of hand trick...

Dana said...

I recently visited a bathroom that had an automatic seat cover dispenser. It was kind of creepy though because I couldn't figure out where the used ones were going and had to wonder if they weren't just rotating the same one over and over again ... hmmm ...

Jeff B said...

Vodka Mom- Ahhh, sucking up I see! I like it, however, I still have to gather up a couple more photos. I'll have them posted later today when I get back from work.

Sandee- The door handle is where the majority of germs are transferred. Anyone who doesn't wash their hands and then touches the handle has just spread millions of ickies all over it.

Jay- So much for being cost effective eh?

Jules- OK, I meant everyone of them except you! I knew as soon as I said that someone would be the one. hehehe

Travis- I hope you'll have the time this month to join in. I'd enjoy seeing what you come up with.

Buffalo- "And now, I'll wave my hand across this magic..." I've felt that way on a number of occasions too.

Dana- Why does that not seem like a good idea?

Dianne said...

the first POW was wonderful, I loved each story. we were all so different and, if I say so myself, we were all so brillant ;)

Have fun in the bathroom! Be on the lookout for Republican Senators.

Sorry - I just can't help myself.

Akelamalu said...

I thoroughly enjoyed reading all the POW's and doing the challenge too.

I hate public bathrooms YUK!

Marilyn said...

I hate those automatic things because they break all the time. I'm all the time trying to figure out how to convince the toilet to flush or it flushes when I'm not ready for it.

Giggle! said...

LMAO 'beat like a red head step child'!!!

I really want to give the writing challenge thing a go one day... but I keep chickening out because I do such a crap job compared to all the other great ones! xx

Bond said...

I like towels and they put a pile near the I don't have to use the auto-eye dispenser...and you forgot...then you need a towel to open the door to leave - since 1/2 the people do not wash their hands...

They must know that since they leave a small pail next to the door...grab door with towel open it...drop towel in pail...all gone...bye bye

good weekend to you

CrazyCath said...

Sometimes, for me, there is just too much automated stuff in this world. I can turn a tap/faucet and press a button for soap. Sometimes that is much easier than trying to judge where the soap will hit. Etc.!

I really enjoyed POW and getting around everyone's story. Look forward to the next one.

nitebyrd said...

Doesn't life suck enough right now without having to put up with one-ply toilet tissue?

Is there no end to the torture?

Have a Charmin weekend, Jeff! ;)

Anndi said...

I just got my quill wet with Raven's wordzzle... but I'll give it a try in October. Just remember, you asked for it.

I may have to invent the magic eye restroom door opener, on account of the germy non hand washers. One of these days... I'm going to let one have it, just outside the door in the hall.

"Excuse me, ma,am? You forgot to wash your hands in there. I'm sure it was an oversight. I mean you were so busy readjusting your skirt and trying to flick the TP off your shoe. You missed a spot by the way. But thank goodness you managed to get your skirt out of your magenta thong. How embarrassing it would have been if people saw THAT! Have a nice day!"

Mel said...

I enjoyed the reading--and I'm looking forward to the next round.

I don't consider myself a writer--let alone a 'creative writer'. Be thankful for that! LOL

And I'm thinkin' bells and whistles oughta go off for the folks sneakin' out without washing their hands.
Invent THAT and we'll all feel 'safer'. :-)

Jeff B said...

Dianne- If the guy in the stall next to me taps his foot three times, I'm outta there!

Akelamalu- They are a necessary evil I'm afraid.

Marilyn- Those 'flush when you're not ready' one are the worst. I feel like I'm gong to get sucked in.

Giggle- You could always write it as Rat Girl. Hope you will consider it this month.

bond- see my comment to Sandee. When I worked in the food service industry, this was a big one at the safety meetings.

Crazycath- Makes you wonder how we ever survived before electricity doesn't it. The new photos are up!

Nitebyrd- Bwahahahahaha

Mr Whipple thanks you.

Anndi- I like it when you say your quill is wet! (wink)

I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that speech too.

Jeff B said...

Mel- I have a feeling any story you'd come up with would be quite entertaining. No pressure, just sayin'.