Saturday, September 20, 2008

A Few Words

How about a couple of short stories known as Wordzzles? What's a Wordzzle you may ask? It's the creation of the talented Raven in which she gives us a list of random words each week to weave into a paragraph or short story. Click here to visit her site and find the other writers.

This week's words:

Ten word group - budget, news, outer space, gargantuan, brass band, Purple Rose of Cairo, polar bears, insight, innovations, mute

The mini group - investments, purring, death penalty, mercury, convalescent home

In honor of our lovely host I didn't separate any of the words/phrases this week. hehehe

~~~The Ten Word~~~
"Political Incorrectness"

Having worked at the Purple Rose of Cairo over the past year gave Lacy a unique insight into the gargantuan mess that was unfolding. The news vans were lined up one after another like a group of hungry polar bears going after a defenseless baby seal. The man inside the seedy little strip club however was no cute and cuddly seal, and he sure as hell wasn't defenseless. He was none other than Congressman Dobbson, who like so many other politicians had managed to disenfranchise the voters in less than a year of being in office.

Big "D" as he became better known by, had of course promised such lofty innovations as a balanced budget, better health care for all and a smaller military presence over seas. All of these things the voters wanted to hear, but none of them had he delivered on. Instead he'd taken thousands of dollars from big businesses and squandered the majority of it away on expensive cars and cheap hookers.

Anytime the press would bring up these allegations you'd think he was a mute. It was funny, a man who was always long on words during his pre-office campaigning speeches would suddenly turn silent. Something else about these press releases that wasn't so funny was his wife of twenty years would have to stand next to him with their three children in tow and all the while display a plastic smile and vow to uphold the name of her faithfull and honest husband.

Well it was now time for him to face the music, and little did he know it, but the woman who had just been riding his groin during yet another lap dance was the one who had called the local and national media an hour earlier. She may have been considered red hot by most men entering this hot bed of lust, but the revenge she was about to serve was ice cold.

Big D was now hiding out in one of the "massage" rooms in the back of the club with her and was all to aware of the media circus that had formed outside. Pleading with lacy for help in discovering a way out of this mess, he promised her anything this side of outer space if she would only help him in his plight. Looking him square in the eyes she said, "I guess you should have thought about that when you decided to stop tipping me last week for my services!"

"It was. . . it was you who called. . . but I thought you had enough of my money already. . ." he stammered.

Breaking his yammering, she said, "Oh what's that I hear? Sounds like a brass band playing outside. Now start marching mister!"

~~~The Mini~~~
"Saving For a Rainy Day"

The investments in mercury free thermometers he'd made earlier in life had his bank account purring like a content kitten now. It also had him relaxing in a condo on Maui instead of the Shady Acres retirement home where some of his less fortunate acquaintances were residing. How fortunate he was. Without the sizable nest egg he'd acquired to see him through his old age, he might have ended up in that run down convalescent home too. A fate that would have been nothing more than a death sentence in his book.


And now for the shameless plug portion of the post. The photos for the upcomming writing challenge "Portrait of Words" are now posted. Scroll down to the next post to see them and join the fun.


Raven said...

I love that politics has been creeping into quite a few of the paragraphs this week. Loved your second one, though. Perfect with a happy ending. And thanks for no broken up words. Well done.

Dianne said...

Love the come uppance the lying cheating politician got!

Something tells me there will be call for many brass bands in the coming months.

I'm happy for the rich old guy.

Great stuff!

Richard said...

Brass bands and strippers. Yep, that sounds like DC.


Richard said...

Brass bands and strippers. Yep, that sounds like DC.


Anndi said...

Folks sure do have politics on the brain.

I love it when scum gets what's coming to them.

Ron said...


I LOVE a good revenge story!!!

Good for you, LACY!!!

Well..I suppose now, Big "D" will be getting "lap dances" from his new cell mate...BUBBA!


(aren't I wicked???)

FABULOUS Worizzle, buddy!

You ROCK!!!

Jeff B said...

Raven- Politics does seem to be on the front burner fro many of us.

Dianne- I'd like to think they all get their just rewards in such a way, but i know better. Oh well, I can dream.

Richard- Kind of Marion Barry style minus the crack pipe.

Anndi- You know of course by that statement you've suggested that I do in fact have a brain don't you?

Ron- Nice one! I don't even want to think about what kind of tip he'll have to give Bubba!

Travis said...

Nicely done!

Giggle! said...

How the hell do you do it!!! :-D xx

Lu' said...

He should've known that servicing his gassbaggy self would require more tipping not less. Enjoyed them Jeff.

Akelamalu said...

Good on her for shopping him, that'll teach him! :)

Great stuff Jeff. :)

Jeff B said...

Travis- Thanks man.

Giggles- I say the same thing about your Rat Girl comic.

Lu- I wonder how many real life politicians could be used in this story?

Akelamalu- The dirty dog got his in the end, or as Ron pointed out, if he goes to prison he'll really get it in the end.

Mel said...

I rather liked the broken up words and thought it was downright creative!

But you know me....I run with scissors and colour outside the lines...LOL

Another batch well done, sir!

Jeff B said...

Mel- I'm sure I'll be back to my evil ways soon enough, but I thought it'd be nice to play by the rules at least once. (keeps everybody guessing that way)

Dr.John said...

Well written and very enjoyable.

Chatty said...

I almost feel sorry for old Big D.