Thursday, November 20, 2008

Seasonal Haiku

With Thanksgiving a week away and Christmas just around the corner I turn my thoughts to a few Haiku.

When you have turkey,
remember to cook it well
Salmonella kills

Christmas lights are up
Presents are under the tree

Happy Hanukkah
Time to light the last candle
Don't burn your finger

Big expensive gifts
Spend more money than you have
Retailers don't care

Two thousand years past
Jesus came to save the world
Original gift

Time with the family
Crammed into one tiny house
God I need a drink!

When you greet someone
why say happy holidays?
Try Merry Christmas

"Hi, Merry Christmas!"
"Don't bother me with that stuff."
You've been bah humbugged

Snowmen live outside
wearing no pants or undies
Frosty's cold snowballs

Let this season bring
Joy, Peace, Love and Happiness
Warm wishes to you

Mistletoe above
Passionate kisses below
How I love my wife


Desert Songbird said...

Funny how you juxtaposed Frosty's cold snowballs with the love for your wife. Or near enough anyway...*wink*

Kay said...

I love them!

(esp the last one)

Jay said...

Those are great Haikus!

The first one made me LOL and the last one made me go "Awwwwwwww"

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

I love it. Merry Christmas to you too. :)

Akelamalu said...


Snowmen live outside
wearing no pants or undies
Frosty's cold snowballs

That made me LOL!

Finding Pam... said...

I love the original gift... we are so blessed. We are having 30 here for Thanksgiving day. I am so excited that I can hardly wait.

Jeff B said...

Songbird- I respectfully request to take the 5th on that!

Kay- Thanks

Jay- Something for everyone today.

Sandee- That's the spirit.

Akelamalu- Kinda giggled myself at that one.

Pam- I think we're at thirteen so far. Should be a lot of fun.

Bond said...

Excellent haiku
you made us all smile
thanks for the present

Marilyn said...

I liked them all but the last one was the best. :)

Gene Bach said...

How's this:

My brother Jeff
Not very smart and ugly

How does that work for you?

Ron said...


Loved everyone of them!

Gosh...can you BELIEVE how FAST the holidays are approaching?

Being in retail, the holidays seem to come and go so fast, so I try to remember that THIS is the time to be enjoying them...right NOW.

The "leading up to" is the BEST part!

Thanks for sharing your talent, buddy!


Dana said...

You just never run out of creativity Jeff, do you?

Jeff B said...

Bond- Now I feel like Santa.

Marilyn- I was going to write, "Sssh, don't tell my wife." but figured I'd be a dead man if I did.

Gene- or should I say butt-breath. Not bad, but you need five syllables in the last line for haiku. You remember five don't you? It's the same number as your IQ.

Ron- It's been so warm around here this year, they seemed to have snuck up on me.

Dana- If only that were true. thanks just the same.

Raven said...

Last one is my favorite.

katherine. said...

you can write it all!

Anndi said...

cold snowballs


Yeah, that last one? Definitely a sap, but in a very good way.

Do you use bananas for noses at your house? Or do you stick to the carrot?

Anndi said...

I kid because I love. :)

I hope your holiday season is filled will laughter and peace (am I back on the Christmas list yet?).

Sandi McBride said...

They're all so much fun, Jeff. You have a talent for this!

Jeff B said...

Raven- It does have a certain awwww quality to it doesn't it?

Katherine- I'm like a box of chocolates.

Anndi- Oh, you're on a list alright sis!

Sandi- They're kind of fun to do. Once you start, they just keep coming.