Friday, September 12, 2008

I'm Affraid I Failed

Just got back from watching the new De Niro and Pacino film "Righteous Kill". I'd like to tell you it was the greatest movie of their careers, but if I did, I'd be exaggerating. Don't get me wrong, overall it was a good flick and if you like either (or both as I do) of those actors, I would recommend seeing it. I won't ruin it for anyone by giving out any of the details, but I will say it was well written and the acting was quite good. There ya go. that's my lame movie review of the day.

Now for the real excitement of the evening. While driving home I was approaching an intersection at about 50mph when the light turned yellow. I probably could have hit the breaks hard and come to a stop at or near the line, but I decided to avoid the screeching tires and proceed through. Sure enough as I was about half way through the intersection, the light in my direction turned red. There is something to be said for timing, or in this case, the lack there of. Ya you guessed it, sitting and waiting to make a left turn onto the road behind me was a city cop. He pulled up quickly behind me and we both proceeded to the next traffic light, which, I made sure to stop at well behind the limit line!

I tried to be cool and glance at the eyeballs starring back at me in my rear view mirror. The look I got in return was not one of, "Hey buddy, how ya been? Long time no see." It was more of the dead pan one that said, "I know that you know that I know what you just did."

But wait, he hadn't turned on his red and blue lights yet. Maybe I misinterpreted the look. Yaaaaa...riiiiiight, As soon as the traffic light turned green he lit up my back windshield like it was the fourth of July. I believe my next quote was, "Oh joy! He wants to have a visit. Yepee skippy!" Yep, that's exactly what I said.

I pulled into the supermarket parking lot and waited for the enevitable. "Good eveng sir. May I see you licence, registration and proof of insurance?"

At this point I already had my licence in hand. Giving it to him I began rifiling through Lisa's car for the other requested items. "Um, please bear with me a minute officer. This is my wife's car and I'm not sure where those items are." He had the look of , "If I had a dollar for everytime I've heard that line."

Then it came. The classic, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" I really, really wanted to say, "I thought you guys only said that in the movies or on television." Thank god common sense prevailed and I just fessed up to what had happened. Highlighting (gently and politely) the fact that the light was yellow when I entered the intersection, but perhaps it would have been better for me to try and stop. This my friends was a wise move.

Back to the search. I did manage to find the vehicle registration, but it was the one that expired two years ago. (Hmmm, wonder if the hand cuffs will leave a mark while I'm sitting in the back of the squad car?) "Here you go officer, I'll keep looking."

"You do that sir. I'll be back at my car. If you find your insurance card, just hold it out the window and I'll come get it." (I wonder if my new cell mate Bubba and I will get along?)

A few minutes later the officer came back to the drivers side window. "I'm not going to issue you a citation for a moving violation. I will ask you to be careful at that intersection though. There have been a lot of accidents there because drivers are pushing the yellow lights. Try to be a bit more mindful of that next time." (The heavens opened and I heard trumpets and angels singing) "I am going to have to give you a fix-it ticket for failure to carry proof of insurance and failure to carry current registration." Man, I felt like an idiot.

Whew! that I can live with. Monday I can take both of those items to the courthouse and have the ticket waived. For the record, we do have both items that are current, but just not in the car. (insert frown here) Also for the record, my heart rate has returned to normal once again.


Matt-Man said...

Ha. Glad you got the lesser of the evils laid upon you, Jeff. Cheers!!

Jeff B said...

Matt- That makes two of us.

katherine. said...

niiiice. not only did you not get in an didn't even get a real ticket!

(I just read that Gene has put his gig on hold! )

Desert Songbird said...

I'll take the slap on the wrist any time over a real ticket, but man! That view of the lights in the back window is enough to make a person's last meal make a reappearance.


Travis said...

I've had my back window lit up like that and it is not a pleasant experience. Each time I was guilty of what the officer lit me up excuses at all.

I have an excellent folding wallet for my glove compartment that keeps my insurance card and registration nicely accessible. Luckily you can get the ticket waived, and only have to listen to a very quick lecture about keeping the things in the car.

And even accident.

Jeff B said...

Katherine- I was pretty relieved at the end result. I was bummed that Gene pulled the plug on his blog. maybe we'll get lucky and he'll pick it up again someday.

Songbird- Isn't that the truth. Although, throwing up on him probably wouldn't have won me any points.

Travis- The no accident part was a definite bonus, and Lisa's car will be equipped with something similar to what you've described.

Akelamalu said...

No as bad as it could have been eh?

Dana said...

I'd say this was a case of living well Jeff, but then I kinda believe in karma *wink*

CrazyCath said...

Oh my Jeff you had my heartbeat go up! Never having been to America, I don't understand all the traffic laws. We are not required to carry our licence with us (although I do because it is good id and I know where it is then) or any of our details, although we are required to produce them within 7 days at our nearest police station if asked to at a stop. In the event of an accident it is good practice to have your insurance with you but not necessary - you just have to give the details and your details. Dodgy I know. A lot of trust there. I give my details but is the guy that hit me telling me the truth when he says he is insured with "Idin Dooit"? One thing I learned is never to carry my registration document in my car. If the car is stolen, they have the document with which they could legally change ownership and there is nothing I could do.

So this long comment was really just to say Phew! and glad it turned out ok. Don't feel a fool. If *I* got stopped in USA they would throw the book at me through ignorance. ;0)

CrazyCath said...

That comment *should read -
"Oh my! Jeff you had..."

Not -

"Oh my Jeff...."

Duh! *Much forehead slapping before hubby slaps it for me!*

buffalodickdy said...

Good time not to be clever.. I rolled through a 4 way stop once, and a cop was sitting at the four way! He comes up to the window and says "Didn't you see me sitting there?" I said, "If I would have, do you think I would have done that?" He was neither impressed by my honesty, and not amused at my sense of humor...

Jeff B said...

Akelamalu- He could have easily made my day miserable if he wanted to.

Dana- Good living...blind luck...the force...whatever it was, I was thankful for it.

Crazycath- Don'tcha hate that when your fingers go blazing ahead of the brain? Funny how completely opposite the rules are in the two different countries.

Buffalo- You'd think he would have given you bonus points for the quick response.

Jeni said...

I think, after a stroke of luck like that, it would have been a good time to go buy some lottery tickets. Lady luck was riding with you there, Jeff!

Dianne said...

I breeze thru yellows all the time. Actually I have been noticing that I am really pushing my luck.

I'm gonna reign it back in!

Glad you got off - so to speak.

Jay said...

Close call there dude!

I thought only hot young coeds avoided tickets like that. LOL

I have a handy little leather folder thing to carry all important paperwork in my glove compartment. It comes in really handy.

Jeff B said...

Jeni- Dang, why didn't I think of that?

Dianne- Shame on you! Ha, hows that for the pot calling the kettle black?

Jay- If I'd have shown him my cleavage, I'd be in the slammer right now!

Ron said...

OMG, Jeff...I've had this exact same thing happen to me...SEVERAL times!!

And it's such a scary thing to be pulled over by a cop, isn't it?

Suddenly your mind is going a mile a minute, trying to remember where the hell everything is.

Fortunately, like you...I've always got off the citations, but have had to go to the courthouse and show proof of registration and insurance.

Thank god the "FORCE" is with us!

Gene Bach said...


I always knew you were a criminal. He should have thrown you in jail for a couple years.

Anndi said...

Luckily, since I'm the only one that drives my car, proper paperwork is not an issue for me...
But then, I never rip through a yellow, or speed, or... what? why are you rolling your eyes at me? Don't you believe me?

Jeff B said...

Ron- After changing my shorts, everything seems to be fine again.

Gene- I can feel the love!

Anndi- You saw my eyes rolling huh? You're such a good girl.

Jules~ said...

Whew! That went alot better than in could have. That makes me think I had better make sure my papers are current in the car.
I remember back when we were stationed in Okinawa and living on the Marine base I got pulled over for speeding up the hill to home. Yes I was going 35k in a 25k ....slap the handcuffs on me. Actually I had the gumption to argue with the MP about the faulty placement of the speed sign and the fact that he was trying me for entrapment and I could have his stripe for harassment.
He mumbled something and let me go.

Real Live Lesbian said...

You're one lucky dude.

Kimmie said...

Boy did you luck out! I also run yellows more than I should, like Dianne I am also going to be more careful. Glad all worked out well for you. :-)

CrazyCath said...

Congrats buddy you made POTD at David's.

And now everyone will see I said "Oh my Jeff..."
*no forehead left to slap*

Louise said...

Oh, my heartrate went up just reading it. And how lucky, happy, wonderful, almost exciting for you to not get the hard slap from the officer. And why can't those required documents just be on their computers somewhere because they're NEVER where we are looking for them!

Sandi McBride said...

The line that hit me the hardest with the funny stick was "if you knew how often I have heard that line..." I was told once "I'm sorry officer I had to pee and I was rushing to get home" and then there was the time the kid in the car (who was not in a child' safety seat nor seat belted and was IN THE FRONT SEAT (for which Dad got a ticket))advised me that yellow meant "go faster". I was not amused standing on the side of a busy highway talking into the walkie mic attached to my collar...but when I got back in the car I laughed my ass off...I had heard the same line just the night a very old movie...Jeff, I'm glad you didn't get a moving violation citation...Cops Rule!

Jeff B said...

Jules- And here I thought you were so quiet and mild mannered! hehehe

Real LL- Lucky and appreciative, yes.

Kimmie- S L O W. . . D O W N

Crazycath- Bwahahahaha

Louise- Oh how convenient that would be. Thanks for coming by.

Sandi- I have a tremendous amount of respect for cops. They put up with a lot of crap and risk their lives to keep us safe. Glad the officer that pulled me over was a decent guy.

Moannie said...

I have only been pulled over once in all my years of driving [about 46] and that was because I hadn't fixed my seat belt. As I had just come from the dentists chair and was drooling out of the side of my numbed mouth, she took pity on me and just gave me a lecture. But my heart was pounding like a double bass.
Could have been a different story for you though, had someone come speeding through the glad you got off with getting hurt.