I'm Affraid I Failed

Just got back from watching the new De Niro and Pacino film "Righteous Kill". I'd like to tell you it was the greatest movie of their careers, but if I did, I'd be exaggerating. Don't get me wrong, overall it was a good flick and if you like either (or both as I do) of those actors, I would recommend seeing it. I won't ruin it for anyone by giving out any of the details, but I will say it was well written and the acting was quite good. There ya go. that's my lame movie review of the day.

Now for the real excitement of the evening. While driving home I was approaching an intersection at about 50mph when the light turned yellow. I probably could have hit the breaks hard and come to a stop at or near the line, but I decided to avoid the screeching tires and proceed through. Sure enough as I was about half way through the intersection, the light in my direction turned red. There is something to be said for timing, or in this case, the lack there of. Ya you guessed it, sitting and waiting to make a left turn onto the road behind me was a city cop. He pulled up quickly behind me and we both proceeded to the next traffic light, which, I made sure to stop at well behind the limit line!

I tried to be cool and glance at the eyeballs starring back at me in my rear view mirror. The look I got in return was not one of, "Hey buddy, how ya been? Long time no see." It was more of the dead pan one that said, "I know that you know that I know what you just did."

But wait, he hadn't turned on his red and blue lights yet. Maybe I misinterpreted the look. Yaaaaa...riiiiiight, As soon as the traffic light turned green he lit up my back windshield like it was the fourth of July. I believe my next quote was, "Oh joy! He wants to have a visit. Yepee skippy!" Yep, that's exactly what I said.

I pulled into the supermarket parking lot and waited for the enevitable. "Good eveng sir. May I see you licence, registration and proof of insurance?"

At this point I already had my licence in hand. Giving it to him I began rifiling through Lisa's car for the other requested items. "Um, please bear with me a minute officer. This is my wife's car and I'm not sure where those items are." He had the look of , "If I had a dollar for everytime I've heard that line."

Then it came. The classic, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" I really, really wanted to say, "I thought you guys only said that in the movies or on television." Thank god common sense prevailed and I just fessed up to what had happened. Highlighting (gently and politely) the fact that the light was yellow when I entered the intersection, but perhaps it would have been better for me to try and stop. This my friends was a wise move.

Back to the search. I did manage to find the vehicle registration, but it was the one that expired two years ago. (Hmmm, wonder if the hand cuffs will leave a mark while I'm sitting in the back of the squad car?) "Here you go officer, I'll keep looking."

"You do that sir. I'll be back at my car. If you find your insurance card, just hold it out the window and I'll come get it." (I wonder if my new cell mate Bubba and I will get along?)

A few minutes later the officer came back to the drivers side window. "I'm not going to issue you a citation for a moving violation. I will ask you to be careful at that intersection though. There have been a lot of accidents there because drivers are pushing the yellow lights. Try to be a bit more mindful of that next time." (The heavens opened and I heard trumpets and angels singing) "I am going to have to give you a fix-it ticket for failure to carry proof of insurance and failure to carry current registration." Man, I felt like an idiot.

Whew! that I can live with. Monday I can take both of those items to the courthouse and have the ticket waived. For the record, we do have both items that are current, but just not in the car. (insert frown here) Also for the record, my heart rate has returned to normal once again.