Saturday, February 28, 2009

Feral Gone

Wanted to share this video with you all. It was made by some of my nieces along with their dad (my brother Mark aka the narrator). At just under two minutes long it's a pretty quick one to watch, so do yourself a favor sit back and take it in, your funny bone will thank you.


Friday, February 27, 2009

Happy Anniversary Wordzzle

This marks the 52nd week Raven has hosted the writing challenge that is Wordzzle. Congratulations and thank you for sticking to it for a whole year. That's quite a nice accomplishment.

It's been several weeks since I've personally participated, but I couldn't very well miss this week, now could I?

The words and phrases for this week's challenge are as follows:

Ten Word- Netflix, mortgage, skunk, flagrant, The New York Times, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, perpendicular, geometry, crabby, shoveling snow

The Mini- pragmatic, crystal ball, laundry, safflower oil, Gregorian chants



The Mini
"Stain Removal"

Louise May Finklestein was never known for her pragmatic approach to things. I mean, gazing into a crystal ball and bellowing out Gregorian chants in an attempt to will the safflower oil out of her laundry was just plain silly.



The Ten Word
"Long Winter"

I don't know what made me more crabby this winter; Shoveling snow in perpendicular lines up and down the driveway once a day, or writing out a check each month to those skunks at the bank who hold my mortgage. Then again, perhaps it was that geometry teacher turned critic who now works for The New York Times. His flagrant misuse of the phrase "Two thumbs up!" was never more evident than when he suggested anybody with a Netflix membership have them rush a copy of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy to their mailbox. In my humble opinion, that's one guy who should have stayed in school!



The Mega
"Medium"

Walking through the door I knew something was desperately wrong. "Excuse me," I cautiously asked, "I thought this was Wong's Laundry?" A woman looking a lot like a character I'd seen from the movie Netflix sent me, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, looked up from her crystal ball and said with a crabby tone, "It used to be, but they couldn't afford the mortgage any more, so now I'm the new tenant. Now if you please, set down that safflower oil stained shirt and be quiet. I'm trying to reach the other side."

As she began wailing away at what sounded like a Gregorian chant gone horribly wrong, I couldn't help myself. Maybe it was my pragmatic nature, or maybe it was just my twisted wit, but I had to ask, "The other side of what?"

She looked up again at me with her nose completely wrinkled as if she just smelled a skunk and said, "Young man, your flagrant misunderstanding of the things not of this world is appalling! Now if you will, get you and your New York Times attitude perpendicular and get the hell out of my shop!"

I had no idea what that last reference to newspapers and geometry meant, but as I stood in my driveway shoveling snow later that afternoon, I couldn't help but wonder, "How did she know my shirt was stained with safflower oil?"


~~~


If you enjoyed reading these, please consider going by and say hi to Raven. If you didn't like them, go by anyway. I mean, who doesn't like to hear happy anniversary?

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

What Is It #11 Solved

Time to solve the mystery of what yesterday's pictures were of. The first one was especially difficult to figure out.

Finding Pam was on the right track, and her guess of: "Rocket engine motor" (along with correctly identifying the other two) made her the big winner!

Honorable mention goes to BJ Roan who even went so far as to Google Space Shuttle pictures in hopes of gleaning the answer. Her official guess of: "Space Shuttle's exhaust pipe!" was a good one, but a few decades into the future.

#1
Titan II rocket engine as used by NASA's Gemini space program
We saw this at the Evergreen Air and Space Museum last summer

#2
Pow! Biff! Zam!
The inside of a Batman and Robin lunchbox circa 1966

#3
Makeup Sponges
They always look like bland cheese wedges to me


And now for the winner we have a little prize:

Congratulations Pam. Feel free to proudly display this if you wish, and no worries if you'd rather not.

I'll have to remember to break out this little guessing game more often. Almost forgot how much fun it is to read your guesses.

Monday, February 23, 2009

What Is It #11

Before we begin: I've updated my blog link list. I think everyone is included, but if I've neglected to add your name, please feel free to let me know in the comments or by email and I'll be sure to add you as well. Quilly and Bond, I'm still trying to figure out why your two are the only ones that won't link up properly.

~~~

Here's a blast from the past. The other day when I took a picture of my ridiculously expensive light bulb for the TV, it reminded me of the guessing game I used to post here on occasion. Looking through the archives showed that the last time I did this was back in July. Wow, time flies.

Knowing there are some new readers since that time, here's how it works: Below you will see three items pictured at a very close up perspective. Can you guess what they are?

I will post the answers along with an expanded view picture of all three tomorrow.

Hints are included at the bottom of this post if you get stumped.

#1

#2

#3




***Give up? Hints Below***

#1 Out of this world

#2 I'll trade you my sandwich for your cookie

#3 For the right application please use . . .

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Aging

A very dear friend of mine emailed the following to me (written by her). I found it to be such a refreshing view at the aging process, I had to share it with all of you:

~~~


Today is my 50th birthday and amidst all the funnies, the AARP subscription, the calculator my husband gave me with the enormous numbers on it, and the numerous senior discount cards my friends have bestowed upon me (all in great fun guys, and yes I am still laughing)................amidst all that fun and frivolity, I have been asked how I feel about being 50, with the implication that I am getting old.........

In all seriousness, I look at aging the same way I look at everything else in my life - from an eternal standpoint. I, like all of you, am NOT aging! There is no such thing. It's ridiculous. We are eternal creatures and will never perish. Every human being will live forever. It's just a matter of where we will live. But, we were created for eternity. We do not age as the world loves to feed into that Great Lie of our times. The only thing that is aging is the vessel in which I reside right now. And so, my answer to how I feel about that is:

BRING IT ON! Because that means I am one day closer to Paradise and a glorified body! Amen. Now, in all honesty, do I like the aging of my body? Of course not. No one does. The wrinkles, sagging, arthritis, etc. No one "likes" that. And it is a difficult thing to see that happening and learn to accept it. Another of those lessons the Master needs us to learn because there are eternal implications in the learning of it.

Every single day of our lives is one more day closer to Paradise. This is the focus and truth I will remain in today and I will not buy into the world's clamor for youth and beauty being physical. I will trust God's economy that who I am will always be youthful and beautiful, because I am His, even as this vessel of mine deteriorates.

Jan M.

~~~

On my fiftieth birthday I'm going to break this out and read it again!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Let There Be Light



When I took these two pictures I considered doing another "What Is It" post with them, but perhaps I'll resurrect that game again another time.

For the short term, I'll still ask, "Do you know what I've photographed?"

The answer is: The most expensive light bulb I've ever purchased.

A few years ago, we bought a big screen TV and on a recommendation from the sales person, the extended warranty to go along with it. He said it would pay for itself, and I'm glad I listened, because he was absolutely right. They replaced the bulb three times during the warranty period.

This particular type of TV (DLP) uses a high intensity light bulb to illuminate the screen. Yes there are other components that aid in this function, but the light bulb is the one that wears out. So how much does this little gem go for? How about $174.00 That's right. No typo there.

Ha, maybe I should have taken Cole's "friend" from yesterday with me. She probably could have got 'em down to twenty or thirty bucks!

~~~

I think I've settled in on the color scheme that you see now. I like the dark background, and it's got a bit of color to help break up the blacks and grays. How about the text, is it easy to read?

~~~

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Stranger Than Fiction

Most of you know how much I enjoy writing fiction, but sometimes real life just entertains us so much more than anything we can dream up. Yesterday was no exception to this fact.

The following accounts are true. and no, I haven't changed any names to protect the innocent.

I've been working with my good friend Cole lately. We always seem to end up with some sort of story to tell about a goof up one of has done or an oddity about a client we're working for. Yesterday was Cole's turn to reel in the fodder.

I was working on the latest remodel project while he went to do a small drywall patch for a gal first thing in the morning. He also had to stop by the other remodel project we are in the middle of. When he got back to where I was about 10:30 in the morning, he said, "Buddy, you're never going to believe my morning."

My response of course was, "Try me."

Cole: "You know that gal I went to do that drywall job for?"

Me: "Ya"

Cole: "When I got ready to go, I got out my receipt book to to write up an invoice for her. Do you know what the fruit loop said?"

Me: (big grin forming on my face) "What?"

Cole: "She said: Oh, I didn't think you were going to charge me for this."

Me: (bigger grin now) "Excuse me?"

Cole: "I told her I usually charge a minimum of $250.00 for a patch job like this. She then proceeds to say because she knows me that she thought I was just going to do the job for nothing."

*Foot Note- She knows him because she is friends with someone Cole goes to church with. Guess in her little world, that makes them best buds.

Me: (beginning to snicker a bit)

Cole: "Then she says, she can't afford that much. So I said, Fine, how about a hundred bucks? She begins whining about that too and tells me she doesn't have any extra money at all."

Me: (the tee-hee's have now set in)

Cole: " Umm, what do you have? She opens up her wallet and counts out $47.00 and hands it to me."

Me: (I'm laughing so hard at this point I can barely stand up)



Then he tells me, "Hey it gets even better."

After leaving her place, he went over to Dave's place to check in and see how the hard wood floor installers were doing. When he got there, they told him Dave was upstairs. He proceeds up the stairs to find him.

*Foot note- At the beginning of the project, Dave had told Cole if he needed him to just come upstairs. No problem usually, but Dave didn't know Cole was coming by this day.

BTW- Dave is around 75 years old

As Cole turns the corner at the top of the stairs to go to Dave's office he sees him sitting at his desk with the computer on. There on the screen is a CLOSE-UP of a buck naked woman with the camera focused on her hoo haa. That's right, Mr seventy-five year old is upstairs looking at porn while the floor guys are downstairs working on his house!

Wisely, Cole stopped, backed up a few steps and then called out, "Hello . . Dave. . . are you up here?"

He said he never heard a mouse click so fast in all his life! Thank god the old fart wasn't waxing his Willie. That would have probably caused some long term damage to Cole's eyes.



One last bit. Cole had another job to look at and bid at the end of the day. It was in an area called Forrest Heights. It's a rather well-to-do area where houses start at around $800k and go upwards of a couple million. The woman had some water damage to three areas in her garage ceiling and one wall. She said the insurance adjuster had already come out and wanted to know if Cole would do the job for what the had given her. When he asked how much the adjustment was for, she told him, "$62.00".

I about horse laughed myself silly when he told me that.

I tell you, I can not make up stuff like this.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Remodel

It's time for a remodel here at A Word In Edgewise.


I got bored with the standard "Rounders" template from Blogger, so I decided to download a new one and start tweaking it. Doing it is relatively simple, but finding a color scheme I can live with is something that's going to take a bit of time. What you see right now is not what the finished product will look like at all. In fact, it may change several times over the next week or so until I finally settle in on one.

I did find out that when I downloaded this template, that my widgets (items in the side bar) all got deleted or goofed up. Perhaps there is a way of doing this without loosing that info, but I certainly didn't know what it was. Oh well, guess I'll just have to rebuild it again. The good part about it is, I'll likely end up teaching myself some new stuff along the way.

So, if you come by during the next few days, you're likely to see a different look each time.


~~~

If you've come by looking for the Portrait of Words posting, it has a new home which you can find by clicking here.

BTW- Two times today, I've looked at the other site and none of the posts have been visible. Straaaaaange Don't know if it's a Blogger thing of a Mr Linky thing or some sort of alien evasion plot thing.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Portrait of Words has moved

Looking for this month's Portrait of Words story and links? It has been moved to my new writing blog of the same name. You can click here for a quick link to it, or if you prefer: http://portraitofwords.blogspot.com

Many of you have already come by for a look. To those of you, thank you. For the rest of you, what the heck are you waiting for? Okay, Okay, don't get your shorts all up in a bunch, just come by if you feel like it.

And now, for something completely different...


Slogans that are a bit more accurate:

VISA -It's everywhere you can't afford to be

American Express -You can leave debt without it

Hallmark- When you're pressured into sending the very best

Microsoft - Where do you want to go (CTRL ALT DEL . . . Restart . . .) today

How about if Allstate Insurance and Kellogg's Rice Krispies got together:
You're in good hands with Snap, Crackle and Pop


If the Milk Board hooked up with AT&T:
It does a body good when you reach out and touch someone


Another greeting card possibility:
In celebration of your liver transplant we chipped in a got you a new puppy. We named him spot.



Hmmm, can you tell I'm out of ideas right now? Any good memes out there?

Friday, February 13, 2009

A Poem, Writing and Stuff

With Friday the 13th being juxtaposed with Valentines Day this year, I came up with a little poem to celebrate them both:

Roses are red
And so is blood
Now that you're dead
Valentines Day is a dud

~~~

Hey, I finally got around to posting a story on my other blog. If you're interested, you can find it here.

Speaking of writing and the other blog. It's about time for the next installment of our Portrait of Words stories. The posting window for them this month is next Mon-Wed 16-19.

I will be posting my story on my other blog along with the link list, but since many of you are accustomed to coming here to read them and leave your link information, I will be sure to do something this month to take care of that. Maybe a second link list or some sort of redirect note.

~~~

Tomorrow (Saturday) will be a non working day for Jeffy. Can I get a Yahooooooo on that one brothas and sistas?

By no means am I complaining about the amount of work that's been coming my way, but I am really looking forward to a day that I can just hang out with the family. I think the boys and I might make some bird houses or some such thing. I think they need some "build something with dad" time.

No big plans for going out with Lisa tomorrow. Probably just have a quiet evening in this year. Some years we go out for dinner and a movie and others are more like this year. Fortunately she's OK with either of them, just so long as we're together.

Well, that's it for tonight. Maybe I'll have something a bit more interesting to say next time. Until then . . . Ciao

Monday, February 9, 2009

Back home

Greetings from Oregon. Made it back safe and sound yesterday afternoon.

I'm going to be working on a remodel during the day time this week and grinding a concrete floor out at an Intel campus tonight and tomorrow night so I probably won't be around much over the next couple of days. After that things will return to their normal busy pace and I'll be sure to get by to catch up on what you've been doing.

Some of you have asked about pictures of the recent project I did with my brother Gene. His wife and daughters took several (pics) and he's posted some of them on his site. My camera of course stayed idle in the console of my truck for the majority of the trip. Anyhoodle, if you'd like to see what we were working on, and us having fun, pop over to his place and have a look. You can click here.

He even said some nice things about me. That in itself is worth the trip over there! Don't worry though, I'm sure it was only a temporary lapse in his snarkyness.

It was a bunch of fun working with my bro on the man cave and I might be back there with the rest of the family during spring break. It still needs to be painted, and I hear the fish will be biting that time of year too.

Bye for now.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

We Did It

After four days of scaling ladders I think it's safe to say, neither Gene nor I want to be siding contractors when we grow up! Dang, that's some hard work. I told Gene that's the largest building I've ever put siding on and I plan on keeping it that way. At 30x50 with twelve foot high walls I think we put up about a billion pieces of cement board siding. My hands look kind of like hamburger now too. The cement drys out the fingertips and then they like to crack. Not real fun, but such is life.

Gene and Cynthia's oldest daughter and her husband just took possession of their very first house this week. They were supposed to get the keys last week, but things got delayed for one reason or another. Cynthia had planned on heading down there (San Jose area) to help paint, clean and get things in order. As a result of their one week wait, she was still at home while I was here. I told her I sure was glad she was able to be here while I was around. Had she have been gone, I would have been real tired of Top Ramen and Pop Tarts by now. Fortunately I didn't have to rely on Genes fine culinary prowess, Cynthia took great care of me, and I ate like a king.

While we were having lunch today I looked up and saw a birthday card mom had sent to Gene. I thought about it and wondered if I changed the words a bit, (ok, quite a bit) what it might sound like. I came up with the following:

"Son, you have a special place in my heart. Kind of like an aneurysm!"

I'm thinking of a new career in the greeting card business.

Well, this trip south is about a wrap. I'm going to church with Gene and Cynthia tomorrow morning, then I'll be heading back home. Talk with you soon.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

At My Brothers

Howdy all. I'm about 300 miles south of home right now at my brothers house. Those of you that read his site know he's been working on building his new shop, (aka the man cave) for a little while now. He had a local contractor build the main structure and pour the slab. As a guy who works in the trades, I can honestly say they did a great job!

Gene called about a week and a half ago and asked if I would be interested in coming down and helping him put the siding on. I was able to create a hole in my schedule and make it down here.

Today was day one and we made some pretty good progress. We got all the corner boards, door and window trim put up and about half of the first side of cement board siding on. By tomorrow we should have two of the four sides complete. When I get back home I'll be sure to post some pictures for you to see.

~~~

Now on a completely different topic. Just before I came down here, I had to renew my drivers licence and the registration for my truck. Any of you that live in California may want to make sure you're sitting down before you read any further.

I walked into the local DMV at 4:02 pm with my passport, soc sec card and my old licence in hand. The guy at the counter politely (amazing I know) asked if he could help me. I explained I was there for a renewal and he said to take a number and someone would be with me shortly. I pressed the button and received number 24. Before I could take a seat, a person for behind the counter called out, "Number 24." With a smile on her face, she looked over the information and said, "Looks like everything is in order. That'll be $39.00"

I handed her a check and she told me to take my old licence to the next station down the counter and drop it in the box then another person would take a new photo of me in a moment. This time I actually had to sit for about a full minute. (Oh the humanity!!!) The next person snapped a picture and handed me a paper copy of my new licence, explaining that the "real" one would arrive in the mail in 3-5 days.

Start to finish I was in and out of the DMV with a new eight year licence in under five minutes. That's right, 5 minutes. I've waited in line at Starbucks longer than that!

The next day I went to the DEQ to have a smog certificate/test done on the truck. This trip took considerably longer however, mostly because there were two other people in line ahead of me. I think the whole process took less than ten minutes. As a nice side benefit, I was able to pay my two year registration at the same time, meaning I wouldn't have to go back to the DMV to take care of it.

Let's recap shall we? In approximately fifteen minutes total time I was able to renew my drivers licence, get a smog cert and register my truck. Yes, Oregon does have it's good sides.

~~~

I've got a story in the works for the new blog, but since I'm on "vacation" I might not get to posting it for a few days.

Bye all.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

New Blog

Wanted to give you all heads up that I finally got my new blog up and running. I'm not planning on doing anything different here except my fiction writing will be posted on the other blog now. I felt the need to have one site that was dedicated to that endeavor alone.

My buddy Ron turned me on to a site called Ourblogtemplates.com where I found all sorts of customizable templates. Much more diversity than what the handful Blogger has to offer. Best of all, they're free to use! Bonus!

Another nice benefit to them is they're super easy to download and use. More on that another time perhaps.

I also discovered how to export and import the information from this blog into the new one. That way I could transfer all of the POW stories and links directly into it. Waaaay cool!

Hope to see your bright shinning faces at the new digs.

It's called Portrait of Words and has the same URL - http://portraitofwords.blogspot.com

If you prefer, you can click here to get there.


And now. . . Are you ready for some FOOTBALL ?!?!?!