Stranger Than Fiction

Most of you know how much I enjoy writing fiction, but sometimes real life just entertains us so much more than anything we can dream up. Yesterday was no exception to this fact.

The following accounts are true. and no, I haven't changed any names to protect the innocent.

I've been working with my good friend Cole lately. We always seem to end up with some sort of story to tell about a goof up one of has done or an oddity about a client we're working for. Yesterday was Cole's turn to reel in the fodder.

I was working on the latest remodel project while he went to do a small drywall patch for a gal first thing in the morning. He also had to stop by the other remodel project we are in the middle of. When he got back to where I was about 10:30 in the morning, he said, "Buddy, you're never going to believe my morning."

My response of course was, "Try me."

Cole: "You know that gal I went to do that drywall job for?"

Me: "Ya"

Cole: "When I got ready to go, I got out my receipt book to to write up an invoice for her. Do you know what the fruit loop said?"

Me: (big grin forming on my face) "What?"

Cole: "She said: Oh, I didn't think you were going to charge me for this."

Me: (bigger grin now) "Excuse me?"

Cole: "I told her I usually charge a minimum of $250.00 for a patch job like this. She then proceeds to say because she knows me that she thought I was just going to do the job for nothing."

*Foot Note- She knows him because she is friends with someone Cole goes to church with. Guess in her little world, that makes them best buds.

Me: (beginning to snicker a bit)

Cole: "Then she says, she can't afford that much. So I said, Fine, how about a hundred bucks? She begins whining about that too and tells me she doesn't have any extra money at all."

Me: (the tee-hee's have now set in)

Cole: " Umm, what do you have? She opens up her wallet and counts out $47.00 and hands it to me."

Me: (I'm laughing so hard at this point I can barely stand up)



Then he tells me, "Hey it gets even better."

After leaving her place, he went over to Dave's place to check in and see how the hard wood floor installers were doing. When he got there, they told him Dave was upstairs. He proceeds up the stairs to find him.

*Foot note- At the beginning of the project, Dave had told Cole if he needed him to just come upstairs. No problem usually, but Dave didn't know Cole was coming by this day.

BTW- Dave is around 75 years old

As Cole turns the corner at the top of the stairs to go to Dave's office he sees him sitting at his desk with the computer on. There on the screen is a CLOSE-UP of a buck naked woman with the camera focused on her hoo haa. That's right, Mr seventy-five year old is upstairs looking at porn while the floor guys are downstairs working on his house!

Wisely, Cole stopped, backed up a few steps and then called out, "Hello . . Dave. . . are you up here?"

He said he never heard a mouse click so fast in all his life! Thank god the old fart wasn't waxing his Willie. That would have probably caused some long term damage to Cole's eyes.



One last bit. Cole had another job to look at and bid at the end of the day. It was in an area called Forrest Heights. It's a rather well-to-do area where houses start at around $800k and go upwards of a couple million. The woman had some water damage to three areas in her garage ceiling and one wall. She said the insurance adjuster had already come out and wanted to know if Cole would do the job for what the had given her. When he asked how much the adjustment was for, she told him, "$62.00".

I about horse laughed myself silly when he told me that.

I tell you, I can not make up stuff like this.