Friday, February 27, 2009

Happy Anniversary Wordzzle

This marks the 52nd week Raven has hosted the writing challenge that is Wordzzle. Congratulations and thank you for sticking to it for a whole year. That's quite a nice accomplishment.

It's been several weeks since I've personally participated, but I couldn't very well miss this week, now could I?

The words and phrases for this week's challenge are as follows:

Ten Word- Netflix, mortgage, skunk, flagrant, The New York Times, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, perpendicular, geometry, crabby, shoveling snow

The Mini- pragmatic, crystal ball, laundry, safflower oil, Gregorian chants



The Mini
"Stain Removal"

Louise May Finklestein was never known for her pragmatic approach to things. I mean, gazing into a crystal ball and bellowing out Gregorian chants in an attempt to will the safflower oil out of her laundry was just plain silly.



The Ten Word
"Long Winter"

I don't know what made me more crabby this winter; Shoveling snow in perpendicular lines up and down the driveway once a day, or writing out a check each month to those skunks at the bank who hold my mortgage. Then again, perhaps it was that geometry teacher turned critic who now works for The New York Times. His flagrant misuse of the phrase "Two thumbs up!" was never more evident than when he suggested anybody with a Netflix membership have them rush a copy of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy to their mailbox. In my humble opinion, that's one guy who should have stayed in school!



The Mega
"Medium"

Walking through the door I knew something was desperately wrong. "Excuse me," I cautiously asked, "I thought this was Wong's Laundry?" A woman looking a lot like a character I'd seen from the movie Netflix sent me, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, looked up from her crystal ball and said with a crabby tone, "It used to be, but they couldn't afford the mortgage any more, so now I'm the new tenant. Now if you please, set down that safflower oil stained shirt and be quiet. I'm trying to reach the other side."

As she began wailing away at what sounded like a Gregorian chant gone horribly wrong, I couldn't help myself. Maybe it was my pragmatic nature, or maybe it was just my twisted wit, but I had to ask, "The other side of what?"

She looked up again at me with her nose completely wrinkled as if she just smelled a skunk and said, "Young man, your flagrant misunderstanding of the things not of this world is appalling! Now if you will, get you and your New York Times attitude perpendicular and get the hell out of my shop!"

I had no idea what that last reference to newspapers and geometry meant, but as I stood in my driveway shoveling snow later that afternoon, I couldn't help but wonder, "How did she know my shirt was stained with safflower oil?"


~~~


If you enjoyed reading these, please consider going by and say hi to Raven. If you didn't like them, go by anyway. I mean, who doesn't like to hear happy anniversary?

23 comments:

Chatty said...

Very nice indeed - the mega was particularly fun... "Gregorian chant gone horribly wrong" - I got an instant mental picture and awful noise in my head ; )
It completely passed me by that it was FIFTY TWO weeks and therefore a year - good for you to remember and offer congratulations - I must head back and do the same.

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Heather said...

Happy weekend. Good wordzzles and use of the words. I am happy you mentioned about 52 weeks of wordzzles. Like Chatty i went back to wish wordzzleversaryto Raven

Matt-Man said...

Nice job Jeff. Perpendicular is one of my favorite words. Cheers!!

Nessa said...

Great submissions for an anniversary celebration.

Just a note: I find the colors of your current layout a bit hard to read. I like the last incarnation better.

Lu' said...

HA I liked the term New York Times attitude. Good job.

Dr.John said...

Your the third set I've read and today they have all been wonderful.
I think these are some of your best wordzzles ever.
The first one got all five words in one sentence . Great. And it read well . Even greater
But the third one with its little twist at the end.
I just marvel at your talent.

Jeff B said...

Chatty- Thought that would conjure up a funky sound in the minds eye.

Heather- Being the host, Raven has participated in each and every one of them too. Kudos to her for a whole year. Thanks for dropping in.

Matt- Why does that not surprise me?

Nessa- It'll be back to all white text on the next post. Had to have something different for this one. Thanks for letting me know.

Lu- It just seemed to fit.

Jeff B said...

Dr John- Thank you for your kind words! I'm off to read yours and the others now.

bettygram said...

The puzzles were all very well done. I liked best the missing laundry with the twist at the end.

Raven said...

Great to have you back! These were all three brilliant! I can't pick a favorite. I loved them all.

Richard said...

How did she know about the stain? Did someone from the other side tell her? How did a laundry go out of business? So many questions. Enjoyed the read very much.

Akelamalu said...

LOL I loved them Jeff, especially the bit about the 'skunks at the bank' - very topical m'dear!

Dianne said...

I'm so glad you're back!! I felt the middle one was a 'reality wordzzle' as I call them

loved the mega - a fantasy story with a twist of grit ;)

Jeff B said...

Bettygram- Had to have a twist in there.

Raven- I've missed doing these the past few weeks. For whatever reason I just couldn't get inspired the other times. Thanks again for hosting this little baby for the past year.

Richard- That sounds like a good promo for a soap opera.

Akelamalu- Those dirty dogs. We keep shelling out our hard earned dollars each and every month while they get bail outs from our government. Arrrgh, I feel a soap box moment coming on...

Dianne- The only factual part was the grumbling about the skunks at the bank.

Travis said...

Good job as always!

gabrielle said...

I loved the compactness of the 5 word. Isn't that how everyone does laundry? It has been a long winter and a cold keeps blowing. Loved all the topical allusions .Great twist at the end of the mega. The medium is the message. Wordzzles rock!

BJ Roan said...

Louise May Finklestein, great name! There was no need to describe what she looks like, I got an immediate mental picture. All three offerings are primo.

Jeff B said...

Travis- Thanks my friend.

Gabrielle- It was fun to get back into the swing of things again with these.

BJ- I have no idea where that name came from, but I chuckled when I typed it, so I figured it must be a keeper.

Alice said...

Really great stories!! I very much enjoyed reading them.

San said...

These are all clever, Jeff, but I believe my favorite is "Stain Removal." That conjures quite a picture in few words.

Yes, I will stop by Raven's place now. She too has a way with Wordzzle. I didn't realize she's kept it going for a year!

quilly said...

The last one was wonderful, but the first one was my favorite! It made me giggle for reals!

Carletta said...

All three are wonderful Jeff!
One sentence mini - super.
"The other side of what?" - priceless.

I'm sorry I didn't get by last week. I thought I'd still come by before you post this week's wordzzle. :)

I've been catching up - stud muffin - hmmmm....