Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Make a Freakin' Decision Would Ya!

Is it me or has the world gone stupid?

While at Starbucks this morning I was waiting behind a thirty something year old woman who, when presented with the question,"What can I get you?" from the younger girl behind the counter, proceeded with a monosyllabic, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....." This drawn out one letter response continued for what felt like hours.

Let me tell you, it took all the strength I possessed to not to slap that woman up beside the head and scream at the top of my lungs, "It's a flipping coffee shop you mental midget! How about ordering a cup of coffee!!!"

A moment later the princess of pathetic managed to find a consonant to go along with a brand new vowel and uttered, "Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm....."

Wow, now we're getting somewhere!

I started to think with progress like this, by 2012 she might actually put it all together and place an order.

By now the line was several bodies deep and there seemed to be a collective "WTF", unspoken, but none-the-less ever present. Then, just before my hands wrapped tightly around her throat, the young woman in front of me managed to whisper, "I'll have a Grande Mocha."

Lord take me home! A decision has been made.

Crimany, I felt like I was on the USS Minnow from Gilligan's Island, "Three hour tour, Three hour tour..."

Was I wound too tight? Probably so, but come on, how darned hard is it to order a simple cup of coffee for cryin out loud?


Thom said...

You are precisely why I can't stand Starbucks. LOL Reason being. I have no clue what any of those coffee's are in there. I feel like an idiot so I avoid the place as much as possible. Only when Quilly wanted something and I made her be specific so I didn't make others feel like they were apart oif the USS Minnow LOL

Sandee said...

Yes the world has gone stupid and you were standing behind the poster child.

Have a terrific day. :)

Dianne said...

I think part of the problem is that there are just way too many choices and we're all going a little nuts

and yes, there are way too many stupid people flittin' about

Jay said...

This drives me crazy too. Nobody ever stands back and studies the menu or thinks things through before it's their turn. Same thing happened to me at Subway not too long ago.

When it was the turn of the person in front of me she acted like she was surprised that she was even at Subway, let alone that she was supposed to order. She waited until that moment to look up at the menu and start thinking about what she wanted.

I almost turned around and left.

Bond said...

And most likely she orders the same thing EVERY day!!!!

quilly said...

Generally I know what I want before my car even stops at the door. However, this lady could have just come in from the back of beyond and never have been in a coffee shop before.

BJ Roan said...

I feel your pain. It's the same with those people who wait until their groceries are rung up and the cashier tells them the total before they go hunting for their wallet down in the deep dark depths of a suitcase sized purse. Do they think this time the cashier won't charge?

Jeff B said...

Thom- I'm generally more accommodating AFTER I've had that cup of coffee I've not so patiently waited for.

Sandee- It would have been the perfect opportunity for a "Here's your sign."

Dianne- You're right about that. I've never heard so many adjectives used at one time as when some people order their fru-fru coffees

Jay- You should have told the kid behind the counter. "She'll have a ham and cheese with everything." just to help speed things up.

Bond- Exactly!

Quilly- And you still believe in the tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny don't you? :)

BJ- You're very close to another one of my pet peeves...Debit Card machine operation. Slide card, Enter PIN, press enter, select appropriate cash back choice, press enter if amount is OK, you're done. Why do so many people have a hard time with that one these days?

Ron said...

Ok...just reading this made me INSANE!

No, I don't think you were wound too tight at all.

To me, there is nothing more aggravating than ordering something in Starbucks. I mean, all ever I order is a simple cup of coffee and I always end up standing beyond someone who is ordering one of those 10 ingedient coffee thingys.

I honestly think Starbucks needs to have an express line.

Don't you?


Great vent, bud!

Mel said...


Hold on.
I gotta decide how I wanna respond......

Aaaaaa.... Ummmmmmmm......


Nessa said...

This is all part of the "I am the center of the universe" syndrome.

I hate places like Starbucks. It's frigging coffee already.

I'm getting torqued just thinking about it.

Yeah, I need more caffeine, NOT!

buffalodick said...

I used to run a "Grill Night" at our club.. I spent five minutes writing a sign put halfway through the line on the wall, below the menu with prices, saying "Have your order ready at the window" saved so much time, it was amazing..

Travis said...

The other thing that bothers me is waiting until the purchase has been rung up and the price advised to get your money out, like you didn't expect to be asked to pay.

I was behind someone at the grocery the other day, and it took a fair amount of time to scan through all the items to finally produce a $200 tab. The person stood there the entire time until the $200 was announced before she fished in her purse for her wallet, then rummaged about for her debit card.

At least she wasn't on her cell phone.

I don't think it's about stupid, I think it's about discourtesy.

Jeff B said...

Ron- I was thinking along the same lines. How about a two adjective or less line?

Mel- Yep, that's exactly it.

Nessa- It's pretty comical listening to all the concoctions people can come up with there.

Buffalo- Now that's a great idea!

Travis- That one really frosts my shorts too.

jennifer said...

mental midget... I have never heard that before :)

I hate to say it but my mother orders like that. It's like she freezes up at the words "May I take your order please". I crack up because #1, it is just SO her, and #2, I am not in line behind her.

Have a good weekend Jeff!

Susan at Stony River said...

ROFL at Mel's comment, and I'm SO with you and especially Travis -- my husband is a prime offender. If I don't know what I want, dangit, I don't get in line until I do, it's just being polite.

And I hate hate HATE when my husband comes to the supermarket with me, because I'm scurrying with all the stuff on the conveyer bet and bagging everything, the checkout boy is going fast as he can, while my husband stands there slack-jawed watching. And when the total's ready, he's soooo slooooow at checking pockets, and wondering where his wallet is, and... *sigh* The man's in his forties. What's it going to be like in thirty years?

Okay, now *I* need a cup of coffee LOL

Gene Bach said...

Ordering a "simple" cup of coffee is easy. However, you're talking about foo foo coffee and people who drink that crap have a hard time living in general, let alone making a decision.

Desert Songbird said...

Ergh. I detest people who cannot make up their minds once they're in the starting block. For cryin' out loud, make the decision BEFORE you get there, people!

My favorite line of late has been, "Are you just stupid or were you dropped on your head as a baby?"

nitebyrd said...

No, you weren't wound too tight. I want to punch people like that in the back of the head because they are ALWAYS in front of me! LOL